It was a good weekend at home (once I got past the 4 hour, traffic-heavy drive).  I saw my daughter and got to spend a little time with her.  I slept in my own bed.  I got to see friends I miss and some I haven’t seen in a while.  I spent some time with someone who encourages me and makes me believe I can do things I don’t want to even think about doing.  I petted my dog more in 2 days than I have in 2 weeks.  I fed the goat anything I could just to make him happy.  I was shocked by how much ice was still on the ground at my house.  It was a good weekend.

Then, like that, I’m back in a foreign place, hauling my bags into a foreign room, checking mice traps (no mice thank goodness – hoping they aren’t smart mice just avoiding the traps) and thinking about the next 4 nights/5 days in a place where I don’t know anyone, don’t have much access to what’s going on in the world and work at a place where no one is quite sure why I’m here due to the (lack of) communication flowing.  Tomorrow, another player in the scene will show up and I’ll learn more, hopefully understanding more.  Then, I will see how this will play out, whether what I can bring to the table will be used or if I’ll be stonewalled.

I was thinking this weekend that the two main characters are more in need of mediation than anyone I’ve talked to in a long, long time.  Guess what – I have a certificate in mediation from the great State of Texas.  I’m qualified to help these guys and believe I can help these guys.  The question is whether either one of them want help.  That said, I am feeling more and more like there is a purpose for me here.  I don’t understand why it has to take me away from the people I love.  I’m still a little scared.  Still a little faithless.

I told a friend that I like the idea of purpose but when I look at the great characters of the Bible, their stories had eternal purpose.  They were bringing a message of God, about the Savior.  I’m trying to help some people build more trailers and make more money.  That’s when the thought popped into my head, “what if I’m here for more than money?  What if I’m here to show these guys something greater than what we accomplish here, what if I’m here to show them eternal purpose?”

What if…?

I started reading a book by Brene Brown today.  GREAT STUFF.  Anyway, in the intro, she says something to the effect that self-understanding is like traveling to a star.  We can never reach it but it gets brighter the closer we get.  (That’s all my paraphrase.)  I may not see the whole purpose for this journey but it’s a little brighter today than it was last week.

I still miss home though.  I miss the people I want to hold and to hug.

Instead, I’m traveling to a star.

Grace and peace.