NOTE: I originally wrote this on my 53rd birthday but realized I never posted it.  It fits with the “no regrets” thoughts so here it is on #54.

Turning 54 is somewhat anti-climatic.  It’s not a milestone birthday or a big number.  40, 55, 60…all birthdays that seem to have some amount of angst or anticipation tied to them.  53, well, it’s just blah.  So, what do I do to make 53 a little less blah?

I am going to speak out more.  I feel like my life since 40 has been full of twists and curves and 2-by-4’s to the head.  It has included divorce, joblessness, brokenness, broke-ness, dissatisfaction with going to church, a greater appreciation for those who are the church, a new marriage, a Masters degree, 3 new jobs, a larger family and a closer walk with God and a distaste for the attempt to combine faith and politics.  There are lots of questions to address, lots of obstacles to overcome.  What does church need to look like?  How should I view politics?  What are my thoughts on gun control, mental health, health insurance, tax reform, homelessness, LGBTQ and other tough topics?

My desire to speak out is to change what I have said and done in the past, to share what I have learned and what I see.  I want to make a difference in the lives of the same people Jesus desired to reach.  I have spent my time with people like me, middle-class types who are college educated and have decent jobs, more debt than needed, a bigger house than needed, nicer cars than needed and so on.  Yes, that describes me.

Here’s the question I have to ask myself.  How radical do I want to be?  How radically do I want to change my life to back up my words?  How far do I want to go in seeking Jesus?  Am I willing to be uncomfortable?  Am I willing to do things differently, to suffer a bit more, to living differently, to hang out with people unlike me?

Jesus was radical.  He turned the religious community upside down but not for religions sake but because of love.  Is that what I want to do because it means turning myself upside down?  Do I really want to love everyone?  It’s going to be a dangerous journey but at 54, a year of ho-hum, it’s time to start finding out what I really want to be, what legacy I want to leave, and what kind of person I want to be.

54, let’s give it a whirl and see where we land.

Grace and peace.

#time4change #lovemore