Our western society is built on doing…doing something, doing more, doing, doing, doing. Put in the hours and you will get ahead.  I was here until 10:00 last night.  I live on coffee and more coffee.  What have you done for me lately?  I am the first one here and the last one to leave.

And then you die.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

That’s the #2 regret of a group of 90-somethings as told to their hospice nurse.  It’s opposite of what we are told and trained to do.  She said, “This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I am one who typically puts in a 45-50 hour week but have been fortunate that I rarely missed one of my kid’s events.  I had parents who were always present and while it seemed like a lot of parenting at the time, I realize how much the kids who didn’t have parents supporting them appreciated my parents being there.  I coached my kids teams in their early years and got to be friends with their friends who played on the team.  As they grew up, the relationships often grew with both my kids and their friends.  Today, I wouldn’t trade for those moments and those memories.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

Even with all of that, I haven’t had a real vacation in years.  When I say real vacation, I mean one where I didn’t check email at least once a day.  One where I was able to be all-in on the vacation and not worry about what was going on back at the office.  It seems I am perpetually “on” with a work mindset and often not enjoying whatever else it is I could be doing.  It’s hard to turn it off and live life it seems.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I’m not sure this will be a regret I would have but I know many who well may feel this way.  I hope you are living life, focusing on relationships and not work and enjoying the minutes you have that are yours.  As the saying goes, we need to work to live, not live to work.

Grace and peace.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.