Author Archives: Seeking Peace

I Could Tell You What You Want To Hear…

30 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by in Monster, Skillet

≈ 1 Comment

The secret side of me, I never let you s I keep it caged but I can’t control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it

It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can’t control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can’t control it
‘Cause if I let him out he’ll tear me up, break me down
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/monster-lyrics.html)
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It’s hiding in the dark, it’s teeth are razor sharp
There’s no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it’s just a dream
Maybe it’s inside of me, stop this monster

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I’ve gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
 

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Monster performed by Skillet
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Thanksgiving. The Day After

26 Friday Nov 2010

Posted by in Lord, love, Thanksgiving

≈ 1 Comment

I have spent some time this past week wondering what all people will say and what I would say when asked, what are you giving thanks for.  My world has been turned upside down and I have been separated from what has meant the most to me on this earth.  Honestly, I still don’t feel very thankful at times but there are some things that stand out to me:

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I’m thankful for the people who have loved me knowing my failings and my darkest secrets.  You have given me courage to continue facing a new day each morning.
I’m thankful for the people I have asked to pray specific prayers for me because I am in a season where I seldom pray.
I’m thankful for the people who have prayed for me not knowing what to pray for or ask for.  God knows your heart and I trust He has used your love for me in ways He knows are best.
I’m thankful for people who have suffered greatly before me because you can speak to my pain and sadness and heartbreak with understanding.
I’m thankful for people who have challenged me in my thoughts and desires.  Your desire to keep me from going backwards by lovingly, and sometimes harshly, pushing me forward has been a blessing.
I’m thankful for Christian counseling.  I have learned things about myself, my heart and my mind that have walked me through years of mistakes to the root causes allowing me to begin working on changes that will hopefully aid me in making good decisions into the future.
I’m thankful for brief words of kindness and a hug.  Knowing you care means more than I can put into words.
I’m thankful for people who let me be honest when they ask how I’m doing.  You know that sometimes what you will hear will be painful, ugly and filled with tears and you allow me to do it anyway.
I’m thankful for people who have brought their brokenness to me.  You have shown me that God can and will use my grief and pain for His glory.

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I’m sure I could go on but there is one more that overshadows all of the above.

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I am thankful for a loving and patient Lord.  You, Lord, have taught me that the prodigal son story isn’t just a Bible story but my story.  You have shown me that my story fits in your story, a story of broken people who have fallen and continue to find your love ever-present.  You have shown me what love is and should be.  You have shown me that it is OK to live through the mistakes of my past because you love what will be, not what was.  You have shown me that there is healing in confession and the power of relationships that are aligned with you.  You have shown me what it is to wait, patiently.  You never quit me,  you never let go, you never stopped loving and being faithful in your hope for me.  Without you I know there would be nothing to be thankful for.  With you, I know there will be joy in the days ahead.  You, Lord, are what I am truly thankful for.
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Thanksgiving

24 Wednesday Nov 2010

Posted by in Charity Water

≈ 1 Comment

I live in a time and place that is unbelievable.  We have so much living in America.  I take for granted so many things that I have access to as if it is just a normal way of life.  How about you?

How thankful are you for clean water?  In October I was fortunate enough to hear Scott Harrison’s story in person.  It is fascinating to hear how he decided to use his life to help others.  Scott’s Story

I was moved by what Harrison had to say and moved by his efforts to sustain what he started.  One of Charity Water’s efforts is birthday giving – people sign up and ask their friends to give money to Charity:Water instead of to the birthday person.  Guess what?  I have a birthday coming up next month and I’m asking you to consider giving.  Just $1.  If you want to give more, great.  It’s an incredible ministry and I will be supporting it on a continuing basis and hope you will consider it.  If you feel so moved, follow this link and you can donate and help people in 3rd world countries be thankful for clean water that doesn’t make them sick and doesn’t kill them.

Support clean drinking water for my birthday!

Whether you give or not, please offer up a prayer for people who have little, if any, of the things we take for granted.  Clean water.  Food.  Clothes.  Love.

Grace and peace to you.
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Christmas Tunes

23 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by in Hallelujah, holiday spirit, Macy's

≈ 1 Comment

I’m not a “holiday spirit” kind of guy.  I can’t explain it and really don’t care to delve into it.  I am who I am and I wonder why the world doesn’t just have the holiday spirit (kindness, courtesy, good tidings, giving) all year long.  Maybe working in retail, it has only skewed my jaded view of the commercialism (people being trampled at 5:00 in the morning to get to the category-killers) of Christmas.  Enough.  I could go on but then somebody would want to try and fix me and that just spells disaster for all of us.

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Back to holiday spirit.  I do have a little and this video is compelling to me.  I would love to be shopping when this happens.

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Hallelujah!

Grace and peace to you.

The Week It Was

22 Monday Nov 2010

Posted by in Jonah, second chances

≈ 1 Comment

It was one of “those” weeks last week.  A week on the rollercoaster of life but it seemed like the rollercoaster was going down, rapidly, more than it was going up.  It’s a week that I’m glad is behind me but it is a week that made me examine some things in my life and spend a little time contemplating where I go from here.  Maybe more on that later.  For now, I want to share a blog from Jonathon Storment.  I don’t know him but have read many of his blogs and have found some peace in reading them from time to time.  This one was good for me.

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Jonah Serves Chicken Wings

Grace and peace to you.

Misfire

15 Monday Nov 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

I’m not hitting on all cylinders this morning so this is just gobbley-gook.

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I don’t know how to spell gobbley-gook.

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I hear the Cowboys won.  Yeah.  I guess.  I’m waiting for Spring Training.

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The road trip was good.  Relaxing.  Too short in many ways, long enough in others.  I love the hill country of Texas and I love the Comal and Guadalupe.  I’m waiting for a sign that I need to live there.  On the river of course.  Near the good fly-fishing waters.

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A guy in the Gruene Outfitters told me the best fishing for native trout would be in the next 2 weeks.  I haven’t figured out how to make my return trip just yet but I’m working on it.

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It would be nice to come back from a relaxing trip and have a relaxing week but that is not the case.  I have something every night.  There’s a chance at least one meeting will get canceled so I can unpack.

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I am thankful for good friends who take care of me and challenge me and love me unconditionally.  From talking to people, God has blessed me with more than other people have.  I hope to let them all know how much they mean to me in the coming days. 

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If you know me, you know I think heaven has some beautiful trout streams running through it.  I saw a little slice of heaven this weekend.  God is an incredible creator.  He made so much beauty.  I’m guilty of looking around me and seeing it in nature but not in His created people.  Today, I want to see His handiwork in the people I talk to and to remember He is the Father of all.

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Grace and peace to you.
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Road Trip

12 Friday Nov 2010

Posted by in Third Day Sound Of Your Voice

≈ 1 Comment

I’m hitting the road this morning.  A trip I’ve had planned for awhile.  A trip that I hope will offer all I want from it.  I trust it will be a good day.

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Did you buy Move by Third Day yet? 

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Here’s another sampling.  A friend pointed out this song, Sound of Your Voice, to me and it has quickly become one of my favorites.  Below are some of the lyrics.

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I ran away from your love
But you waited for me
Yes, you waited for me
And then I heard your song
Singing over me 
 
Sing your song to me
Oh, there's no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice  

Lord, I am calling your name
And I'm waiting for you
Yes, I'm waiting for you
So won't you show me your way
And I will follow you
Yes, I will follow you

Singing over me
Bringing peace and mercy
With a song that never ends
Singing over me
Marvelous and holy
Lord, I want to hear your song again
 
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.  I want to hear God's voice.
 
Grace and peace to you. 

Third Day – Surrender

11 Thursday Nov 2010

Posted by in Third Day Surrender

≈ Leave a comment

So this week’s blogs didn’t look anything like what I had planned.  Funny how life intervenes sometimes.

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I’ve got some new stuff from Francis Chan to share and hopefully I’ll get that out there next week.

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We are studying his book Crazy Love in our youth class and I’ve got a couple of neat stories to share sometime.  I think teens and young adults have more spiritual maturity about them than at any time in my life.  In fact, I had lunch yesterday with an old friend who is a Campus Minister at SMU and asked him his thoughts.  He told me about a study done by some university that agreed with that – not that the kids agreed with everything we’ve grown up being taught or that I would agree with some of their ideas (no absolute truth) but they are more connected to God than my generation was/is.

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If you know me, you know I love Third Day.  If you haven’t bought their new CD, Move, then move now and go get it.  One of my favorite songs is Surrender.  Maybe the bluesy start has something to do with it and I do like the bass beat when thumping on my sub-woofers but it’s the them of the song that connects.  Part of the lyrics say:

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‘Cause inside you find
That you are slowly dying

Some of us realize at some point in life that we are dying a slow death from the inside out.  Our body still functions but our heart is dying.  I was there…I was dying…and, praise God, in a time of brokenness He rescued me.  He saved me from dying but I had to surrender and I am still learning to surrender more and more to Him every day.

Surrender (click on the link)

Grace and peace to you.

Just Another Birthday Party

09 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

I told one of my loyal readers the other day that I’m a great advocate for serving others but not so great at practicing what I preach.  I’m on a journey to know God and His desire for me and to live it out in my life better each day.

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Another loyal reader presses me sometimes on my comments about service.  Growing up in the faith tradition we have, there have been times where service was seen as the end goal, not a by-product of a heart for God; seen as a way to build “credit” in the body, not as a selfless act that brings us closer to being one with Christ and each other. 

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Yesterday, I ran across this video.  I’m still processing what all he is saying, still processing the idea of putting myself in the same place he was, still processing what it might all look like to live for others.  I hope you enjoy the story though and I hope it challenges you.

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Grace and peace to you.

Thankful For Friends

08 Monday Nov 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Before I get down to what I want to say…how ’bout that Colt McCoy.  Great game yesterday!

I deleted the post I had planned for today because a friend called me out on something I have said recently they don’t agree with.  I’m thankful for friends willing to call me out.

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Sometimes I talk way too much.  Some of you might find that hard to believe because I prefer not to talk much at all.  When I do, I’m thankful for friends who don’t stick a sock in my mouth. 

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I’m flawed.  Some of my closest friends know just how flawed I am and they keep on loving me…even when I do something I shouldn’t do more than once.  I am thankful for friends who love me unconditionally and who challenge me to be better today than I was yesterday.

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I don’t always listen to good advice but I always need good advice.  I am blessed to have friends who don’t tell me what I want to hear but what I need to hear.  Every now and then I heed their wise words and thank God for their presence in my life.

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I have much to be thankful for, nothing greater than the thanks I give God for loving me in ways no one else ever has or ever will.  Nothing can make me more thankful than the love of my Lord.

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Grace and peace to you.
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