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Author Archives: Seeking Peace

I Wish You Enough

09 Monday Aug 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Goodbye, I Wish You Enough

≈ 1 Comment

My life changed dramatically 16 years ago today.  It’s hard to believe it’s been 16 years.  It seems it was just a week a few weeks ago this tiny baby grabbed hold of my finger and grabbed hold of my heart.  I haven’t been the same since.  She has been a priceless treasure, a gift from the Creator that has blessed my life time and time again.  She has helped me understand unconditional love and how God feels about me.  16 years ago today, my life became better because my daughter was born.  Thank you God.

This is a story I heard in the past but recently read again in an email from a friend.  I think it strikes me more today than it did before.  Today, goodbyes are harder for me, crushing at times.  I find myself saying goodbye to very special people and it is a painful experience.  Reading this poem stirs many emotions, one being what do I leave with the people I tell goodbye.

The whole story can be read here:http://www.bobperks.com/wish.htm 

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Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you enough.” She in turn said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.”
They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So I knew what this man experiencing.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?” I asked.
“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral,” he said.
“When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.”When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
were reciting it from memory.
“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”
I wish you enough.
Grace and peace to you. 

More Brain Tired Ramblings

04 Wednesday Aug 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

I think I’m finally sleeping better but still not enough.

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I’m tired of the Palin’s being in the news.  Not a fan of mom or daughter getting much attention.

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Cuban might buy the Rangers?  Tell me it isn’t so.  I think he loves owning the team but he hasn’t brought a championship to Dallas yet.  Let the baseball guys buy the baseball team.  Please.

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I’m tired of LeBron and I hope Miami wins 1 game this year.  I enjoyed watching him play but doubt I will see any more of him than what is forced on me through ESPN highlights.  I like Jordan and Magic’s thoughts.  Both said “I wanted to beat Bird/Jordan/Magic, not play with them.”  That’s a competitor spirit.

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Electronics not working used to never bother me.  Now I just want to throw them out and get something else.  I’ve lost patience for these devices not working when they are all supposed to be better. 

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I’m still thankful for good friends. 

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I love the Psalms.  They are filled with heartfelt visits with God, many of the same heartfelt talks I have had with Him. 

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Grace and peace to you.
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It’s Only Tuesday?

03 Tuesday Aug 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Uncategorized

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Last week I kept thinking it was later in the week than it was.  Today I find it hard to believe it’s only Tuesday.  Go figure.

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I heard a spot on the news this morning about the Muslim Center they are wanting to build near Ground Zero in New York.  Now, I must say some of the people opposing the center have gone over the imaginary line of good conduct but doesn’t anyone in the Muslim community understand the sensitivity of this issue?  It seems if they were really wanting to promote peace, they would get out and do something positive for the New York community instead of building their own fun center/prayer mosque. 

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I am very thankful for good friends.  It’s hard to imagine where I would be right now without some people who are praying for me and willing to help me in different ways.

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My daughter takes incredible pictures.  Photography isn’t something she is aspiring to do as a profession but she has a great eye for a good picture.  I may steal one from her one day and post it here.

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Kids are an incredible blessing.  I’ve got friends who are struggling today from the loss of a child and I am praying that God will give them healing and peace.  I don’t get to be around my kids as much as I want to and it is not an easy thing to cope with emotionally.  I am thankful for every moment I have with them and pray each day that God will fill them up with all He knows they need to be strong in Him.

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God is good.

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Grace and peace to you.
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See The Light

02 Monday Aug 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Uncategorized

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To see the light, I need to look for the light. 

In my darkest days, it is easy to leave my thoughts on the darkness that seems to overwhelm me.  It is easy to get caught up in questions and accusations and emotions.  I find myself questioning God and wondering why He isn’t using His power the way I want Him to, asking if He has forgotten me, wondering what I’ve done that is so bad God won’t reach down and help me.  Yet all I have to do is take my eyes off of myself for an instant and I see the light of God shining all around me.  It’s there, I just have to be willing to open my eyes and look for it.  I see the brightness of God shining in the people who are praying for me and who are helping me in ways big and small.  I see it in the words of love spoken to me and in invitations to share a meal. 

I want my heart to be attuned to God.  I want it to be easy to see the light and have the darkness blocked from my sight.  I want to rejoice in the warmth of God’s light, I want to worship in the warmth of God’s light, I want to take each step and breathe each breath in the warmth of God’s light.  It is there.  He is there.

Grace and peace to you.

Jesus Wept

27 Tuesday Jul 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

43When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
      Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

Yesterday, a very dear friend reminded me of this story in Luke 11.  He told me how many of us go through a death of some sort while we are still alive; we lose something, a child, a spouse, something truly important and the loss is like a death.  As Jesus pulls us back into life from that death, as we begin to walk a little straighter, as our minds begin to untangle what happened and begins to focus on today, Jesus tells us to take the grave clothes off because we have come back from the dead.

I’m not doing an adequate job explaining it the way my friend did but it was a poignant moment in my day when we talked because it hit me again, in just the right way, that Jesus is waiting for me and is preparing my way so that I can remove the grave clothes and enter into a new life, a different life for sure but life.  I don’t forget the death or what was lost but I learn to life in a new way and I know Jesus is there. 

As I reread the story, I remembered it included the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept.”  Right then, when I read those words, I knew they were for me.  I know Jesus has cried for me.  I know Jesus has hurt for me and has shed tears for me, and I know he’s waiting on the other side of this walk, ready for me to take the grave clothes off and to begin to live again. 

For me, it was a beautiful story delivered at just the right time.  Even more, it was a beautiful story reminding me of who is right in front of me, waiting, arms open, ready to lead me into new paths and new life.  I haven’t stepped out far enough to meet Him yet but I know He is there.  Praise God.

Grace and peace to you.
 
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Rollercoasters

26 Monday Jul 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Uncategorized

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I’ve never been a big fan of rollercoasters but have ridden several and might ride more in the future if I can get my legs in the cart.  Several years ago, I was riding the Shockwave at Six Flags.  There isn’t much legroom so my knees were jammed against the front wall with my feet dangling above the floor.  As we went through the first upside-down loop, I got a cramp in my hamstring and because of the force couldn’t do anything but scream.  The girl sitting next to me starting saying, “don’t be scared, it will be over soon.”  Fortunately, she was a stranger so I didn’t have to hear stories of me screaming on the roller coaster but that is the one incident that makes me hesitant to willingly get on a roller coaster.  Yet, that is where I find myself right now, on an emotional rollercoaster.  Emotions come and go and I can’t predict which one is next.  I described it to a friend as riding a rollercoaster in the dark because I don’t know if I’m about to go up or go down. 

I can tell you that I’m no fan of this emotional ride.  Maybe there is benefit in some of it but I’m tired and just want to “be” for awhile.  As I’m learning, what I want isn’t all that important to the rest of the physical or spiritual worlds.  I rationalize my down times by reminding myself that I have close friends who have been in much worse situations than my own yet my situation is the worst one I have experienced.  Thankfully, I can gain insight from them and from their experiences where our paths are parallel.  The other fear is that I don’t know how long this ride will last.  At least on a real rollercoaster, you can see the end.  Not so with the emotional ride. 

Today, I will just do my best to put one foot in front of the other and trust in the Lord to make things right.  He certainly is acting on my timetable so I will also ask him for an extra dose of patience while I learn to wait on him, to be still knowing that He will fight for me against the spiritual forces that want to tear me down.  My fight is not against flesh and blood but the powers of darkness.  In that realm, I nothing more than a 90 pound weakling but I have faith that God is mighty, that He can part the Red Seas and calm the storms of my life if I will simply wait on Him.

Grace and peace to you.

Petitions and Weekends

23 Friday Jul 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Uncategorized

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Several people have started a new petition for Decatur to be able to sell more alcohol.  I’m not even sure what it’s for but I think it’s to allow liquor stores into the city.  What a wonderful addition.  I remember when the first election came up, it was all about being able to bring a big-name grocery store to town and extra tax dollars to fix our roads.  How did that work out?  We still have Wal-Mart and IGA and some very bumpy roads.  My former yard did see an increase in the number of empty beer cans/bottles but that may have more to do with a changing demographic than alcohol sales themselves.  Anyway, I just wish the people pushing these things would be honest and say it is simply for convenience, nothing more, nothing less.  Do not misunderstand me, I’m not condemning the use of alcohol in a safe and responsible way, only the reasoning that is often employed to justify the decision. 

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The weekend is almost here and it is one I dread because of tasks that are before me.  It will be a hard weekend and if you are in a praying mood, please pray for me to keep my head up and moving forward seeing what God has in front of me and for thanksgiving for the people who are helping me. 

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I stood in line for 2 hours last night with a friend waiting for his new iPhone.  People will stand in line a long time for these things but don’t want to spend more than an hour in church where they can find something much more valuable and useful for all eternity instead of something good until the next version comes out.  What’s wrong with us humans?  The good part was that I was with a friend I love and respect and I didn’t mind waiting it out and having a good time and good discussion over dinner. 

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God is love.  I hope people will see God living in me this weekend and in the days to come.

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Grace and peace to you.
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More Reading…Yeah!

22 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

It’s been awhile since I could sit down and read a book.  Too much going through my muddled mind but I finally finished one while on vacation and have started The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel.  I got through Chapter 2 last night dealing with our shame.  I didn’t understand what shame did to us, how it worked in the deepest parts of who we are, until I started opening up and talking about it with some professional listeners.  Shame is a tool of evil that is used to put us in our place, to remind us we are not worthy of God’s love and that He can’t really want a child like us, one who does bad things.  Yet, the Bible is filled with stories of people who did shameful things and were reconciled with God.  Peter may be one of my favorites.  Jesus tells Peter that he will deny Jesus three times and Peter responds with (I’m paraphrasing a bit) “nope, not me, never.”  And then, guess what?  Peter denies Jesus three times and then feels the grief of his actions.  So what does Jesus do?  He tells Peter to go and feed the flock, to proclaim the good news.  Now, I would be inclined to go proclaim the good news quietly, still ashamed of my actions but Peter uses Pentecost for his pulpit.  Do I think Peter still wishes he hadn’t denied Jesus?  You bet.  Did Peter let his shame continue to hold him back?  No. 

I hope more and more Christians will learn to deal with their shame and guilt, to get it out and feel the forgiveness that God showers on us so that they may move forward with God and not be stuck in the past.

Grace and peace to you.

The Christian Atheist

21 Wednesday Jul 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Christian Atheist, Intellectual Christian, Psalm 63

≈ 2 Comments

I started a new book last night titled The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel.  I’m into it after 1 chapter because it’s something I think I have experienced and called my “Intellectual Christian” phase.  Basically, Groeschel brings up the question of why we call ourselves Christian but often don’t live like we are trying to follow Christ.  Does going to church on Sunday but doing little, if anything, to teach and reach the lost during the week signify real discipleship?  Does talking to God but never listening to God signify discipleship?  Does reading His word (Bible) on Sunday and setting the book on the coffee table the rest of the week signify real discipleship?  I’m looking forward to getting deeper into the book.  I don’t think it’s going to impact me as much as The Shack or Crazy Love but I might more closely identify with it.

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I love the Psalms.  Groeschel mentions Psalm 63 in part of the 1st chapter.
 1 O God, you are my God,
       earnestly I seek you;
       my soul thirsts for you,
       my body longs for you,
       in a dry and weary land
       where there is no water.

 2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
       and beheld your power and your glory.

 3 Because your love is better than life,
       my lips will glorify you.

 4 I will praise you as long as I live,
       and in your name I will lift up my hands. 

Some of these words are hard for me right now because I still feel somewhat disconnected from God yet the words resonate because I want to know God better – partially in hope that I will better understand what He has planned for me and might reveal why I have been through the season I have and, to a greater degree, to be closer to my Creator, my Savior, my LORD simply because He is who He is and loves me unconditionally for who I am.

Verse 3 stands out to me as I think about 2 dear friends.  His love is better than life.  Being in His presence is better than life.  I continue to look forward to the day I can experience His love face to face and do not have to face the pain, the pitfalls and the evil of this world.

Grace and peace to you.
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What’s Up?

19 Monday Jul 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Colorado, David Terry, Faith, Patience

≈ 2 Comments

I’ve been away for a bit.  I spent a week in Colorado with my kids and while the trip was hampered by some severely painful back issues, I cherished the time with them in the beautiful landscape that God created.  I still think that God put South Fork, Colorado on earth so I would have a small glimpse of how wonderful Heaven will be.

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While there, I finished a book co-authored by a good friend, David Terry, entitled The Original Sanctuary.  I was struck by the idea that South Fork has been my original sanctuary, the place I felt I could go that was safe, where I could feel God’s presence.  My dream would be to spend a summer or own a house there.  It might never happen but it is the place I always feel closest to God.

I continue to struggle with what God is doing in my life.  A dear friend has reminded me of the saying “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”  I don’t feel stronger but maybe, like working out, it takes time and perseverance to become stronger.  I keep asking God where he is and what, if anything, he is doing in my life.  I read David’s words in the Psalms and can understand his questions so clearly.  All the while I experience support and love from so many people and I know it comes from their heart and desire to by the hands and feet of God for me.  Sometimes I can’t help but think I need to spend more time exploring my belief that I would have made a great Israelite, someone who keeps seeing God do things and then turning around and wanting more from God done the way I want things done.  He gives me manna while I try to demand prime rib.

Today, I am so very grateful for God’s patience with me and His overwhelming forgiveness.

Grace and peace to you.

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BeautyBeyondBones

Interim Ministry Partners

Bob Buckel, author

Texas fiction, from a veteran Texas writer

Christian INTP

Growing towards God as an Introvert

Douglas Young

Changing the Face of Conflict

Matthew Fray

Author and Relationship Coach

giorge thomas

writer

Business and Life Leadership

Do the Right Thing. Make a Difference.

The Word Of God

Unleashing the Power of Scripture Memorization

Cindy's Siesta

Seeking God through the study of his Word

THE RIVER WALK

Daily Thoughts and Meditations as we journey together with our Lord.

The Official Colonel Sanders Podcast

An All American Rags to Chickens Story

Hope Blooms in Darkness

Christianity Matters

A Gospel-Centered Perspective On All Things Christian

lostcompanion

Alcoholism

Unshakable Hope

"All of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain." (Hebrews 12:27)

follow the light

Sharing God's Light

Chris Martin Writes

Life Out of the Box

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