I am attending a memorial service today. A guy my age, a man with 2 children, someone with an infectious smile and good with people decided to take his life. I don’t know why.

Yesterday, a high school aged girl was killed while running in downtown Bridgeport. The awning off a building fell as she and a cross country teammate were running killing 1 girl and leaving the other in the hospital. I don’t know why.

There are mysteries I don’t have answers to. There are questions I can’t come to grips with. I don’t know why some things happen that leave good people in pain. God knows. He tells us there will be times of pain, times of trials, times to persevere, times that will lead us to Him alone.

I do know these times can bring healing to the heart even in their pain. I do know peace can be found in the most trying of times if the focus is directed correctly. Still, there are questions that my only answer is “I don’t know why.”

I pray that God brings comfort to those who are hurting today and that they will be surrounded by people who will serve them with the love and compassion that God pours on us.

I do know that in the darkest of times, God reigns. He is sovereign. He will use the worst of situations for great things.

Grace and peace to you.

It’s the first day of school for the new year. I’m not sure where summer went but I kind of like the idea of being on a schedule again. Soon, I’ll be ready for the freedom of summer. I’m not sure it ever really changes.
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Yesterday, many of the people who came to Gear Up! and got a raincheck for a backpack with school supplies came back to pick it up. I’m still excited about what was done that day and continue to pray that the spirit of giving and discipleship will grow in our church family.
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I just deleted a big section of writing because I fear it sounded too self-righteous. It’s one of the constant concerns of writing a blog that other people read.
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Whew. The Rangers are headed to New York and we’re 1 game behind Boston in the wild card race. Texas seems to play better against better talent so maybe this will be a good series for the team. I hope, I hope, I hope.
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I am praying today that everyone calling themselves Christian and caught up in what Obama is doing more than what God wants Christians to be doing will feel His pull and heed His will for them.

For several years, I was immersed in politics. I knew who they were, I knew how they voted, I knew who I wanted to be in office and who I wanted out. I wanted politicians to make my world a better place but I was missing the point.

God wants me to help make the world a better place. God doesn’t care how much I know about American politics or the economy if I am not actively working to feed His children, to help the poor and the hungry, to bring light to the lost.

I am working to align my eyes with His eyes, my ears with His ears, my heart with His heart. I’m far away from what He wants me to be but each day I’m trying to get closer to Him. I’ve given up much of what used to occupy my time and kept me focused on something other than the battle for hearts and souls.

I hope the day comes when the battle will be about health care and taxes because there is no more hurting, no more hunger, no more homeless, no more lost souls. Until then, I have to keep asking myself what my time and energy needs to be focused on.

I don’t want to go through the motions any more.

Grace and peace to you.

How ’bout those Rangers?! World Series, here we come!

Thursday’s “season is over” rant is no more valid than today’s “crown us the champs” babbling but I’ll tell you this…when Derek Holland pitches and Neftali Feliz comes in to relieve, I think I’d rather be at the park hearing the crowd than sitting at home watching. It gets louder for a couple of pitchers than it does for a home run! At the Rangers game! C-R-A-Z-Y.

I’m willing to bet you a Diet Dr. Pepper that the guys in the dugout are not thinking what a great year 2010 is shaping up to be. Instead, I’ve got a feeling they are very focused on how to fight their way into October and have a level of confidence they will get there that hasn’t been around in years. Good stuff.
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I got this excerpt from Os Hillman yesterday…

God often allows pain to ignite destiny in our lives. Without motivation, many of us would never fulfill the purposes for which God created us. Oftentimes a measured assault invades our life and creates a depth of pain that all we know to do is press into God with all of our being.

I wish I didn’t have to go through pain to get better, to get stronger, to heal but that’s not the way it typically works. Pain has led me from being a believer to a desire to know God to a desire to be His disciple. Could I have arrived at the same place without pain? Sure but it’s not the road I walked so God used something to wake me up, to help me see more clearly, to begin to truly align my heart to His.

I want to live God’s purpose in my life. I want to walk the paths He leads me to. I want to fulfill His destiny in my life. It has taken some pain to get me to that point and I say hallelujah that I have arrived at this point. I see different roads I should have taken in the past but I wouldn’t trade anything for my ever-growing relationship with God that I have today. He is good and perfect and loving and merciful and I am living in that like I have never lived before.

Grace and peace to you.

The Rangers season is over. Two blown games against the Twins and it’s painfully obvious this team isn’t ready for the playoffs. The pitching staff had a great run (by Rangers standards) but the wheels are coming off. The greatest hitting coach in MLB isn’t proving that title right now and the players sure aren’t doing much to help. It was fun while it lasted…

OK, now that little rant is out let me say this season wasn’t supposed to be near this exciting, that the future sure looks bright AND there is still a good chance the Rangers will figure into the playoff mix. I haven’t given up hope in spite of my earlier tirade because I think there are still a few hungry veterans on the team that refuse to give up and there is enough youth that they are going to go keep having fun because they are a) too young to know they should quit and b) looking for bigger money.

It’s been a great year and I still expect a few more exciting weeks but I also like to dream what the next few years will bring with Andrus, Feliz, Hunter, Holland, Borbon, et al.
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A confluence of thoughts and conversations have bombarded me recently that are helping to crystallize where I want to go. I’ve written before about my journey from an “intellectual Christian” to really letting God in my heart but in recent weeks I think I am better defining what I’m feeling. I am wanting to move from believer to disciple. I’m wanting to move from someone who knows what the Bible says about Jesus’ life to actively trying to do what Jesus did while on earth.

I was listening to someone talk about what being a disciple meant. Disciples didn’t want to just learn from their teacher, they wanted to emulate their teacher in every aspect of life. He said that disciples were even known to follow their rabbi to the bathroom in case he uttered a prayer or said something they might miss. Now, I don’t know if that is wholly accurate but the point is the extremes a disciple would go to in order to be like their teacher. How far am I willing to go to follow Jesus? To what extreme would I follow Him, emulate Him, give up everything for Him?

I look forward to more study on what a disciple looks like in my body. I want to be more than a believer, more than a pew sitter and religious philosopher. I want to be more like my teacher everyday.

Grace and peace to you.

It was good to see Pudge back with the Rangers. I hope it works out that he can retire here and still be a contributor for a few more years.

It was not good to see the Rangers drop that game last night. It was shaky Monday night and last night wasn’t pretty at all. The Angels are like a runaway steam train and Boston won’t play bad forever. Saying all of that, the Rangers are something like 20-12 since the All-Star break so I have no complaints about what is going on. It’s fun to be talking about them in August.

I was at the game Monday and Tommy Hunter got a big ovation walking off the field and Neftali Felix got a big ovation coming on the field. How many times have 2 Rangers pitchers been applauded in the same game? Oh yeah…no home runs that night. Wacky!
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I just got word that the son of a friend of mine (not local) committed suicide over the weekend. I was talking to someone who had heard and we were discussing how much pain someone has to be in to think that’s the only way out. Some people reading this probably know that pain and others don’t. I’ve heard people refer to suicide as selfish, and maybe it is, but I wonder if that person saying that has any clue the misery the other person was going through. Anyway, we were talking about what a blessing it is to have someone you can share your problems with, no matter how painful or bad or scary it might be.

I’m pretty sure that is what God wants for us. I’m pretty sure that is one of the purposes he created the church for. I’m pretty sure that is what disciples do for each other.

I hope I never get another phone call about someone committing suicide (physical or spiritual) because they didn’t have someone to help carry their burdens.

Grace and peace to you.

For years I have prayed for what I wanted. More recently, I have prayed boldly for what I wanted. I have asked God to do outrageous things and had no concern for the asking but realize my prayers were more about me and less about what an awesome God can do when I stand out of the way. Today, I hope my prayer is even more bold yet very simple.

Lord, you are mightier than I can comprehend. Your love is indescribable and your forgiveness brings me to my knees in tears. I don’t fully grasp your love and mercy and grace and compassion but I pray you fill me with it today. Father, forgive me when I put me ahead of you. Today, please use me to be your instrument of peace. Amen.

Grace and peace to you.

Sports radio is wound up today discussing Michael Vick and whether he should be able to play football again. Are you kidding me? I don’t condone what he did but people do worse things to harm humanity every day and suffer a slap on the wrist compared with the price Vick has paid. Leave him alone and let him play. Of course, the danger is that we have to go back to looking at ourselves and our warts instead of focusing on those belonging to someone else.
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I’m ready for college football to get rolling. Hook ’em Horns.
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I have said I have no interest in going to JerryWorld but I saw a football lineup on September 5 with 4 high school games that might tempt me to venture out to his ego-plex.
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The Little League World Series started last night with 2 Texas teams playing but I missed it (pulling weeds and getting thorns in my hands instead – yippee!). This is one of the sporting events I really enjoy watching because the kids are playing for the love of the game. I’m not sure about some of the coaches but the kids are fun to watch.
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The Rangers and Red Sox this weekend. It should be a fun series to watch although Youkilis will be out which takes some good hitting out of Boston’s lineup. Have you noticed the Rangers are still in the playoff mix and pitching is what is carrying them?

I had to take some time off from going to the game because of my world travels but I go back to the ballpark on Monday and can’t wait. I have learned to love the game and being at a baseball field gives me a sense of peace as I step out of the hustle and bustle of life.
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Have a good weekend.

Grace and peace to you.

What did God prepare me to do? Ephesians 2 says I am God’s handiwork and He has prepared something in advance for me to do. What is it? Will I know when the time comes? Have I missed it? Is it for the spiritual battles I’m fighting now and/or battles to come?

I think most people want to know what their purpose is. Some give up and drift along while others jump from one thing to the next desperately searching everywhere for theirs. I have been at both extremes at one time or another but I have finally gotten comfortable waiting for the time and purpose to come to me. I can plan all I want to but there are so many variables that it becomes impossible to follow the plan to the letter. I can shut my eyes and ignore what is going on and my time can go by…or go by over and over again.

Now, I want to be prepared to act on the opportunities and to overcome the obstacles that come my way but I will wait on God to lead me to my opportunities and to guide me over my obstacles. I want neither to ignore nor shirk my responsibilities, only to rest in the Lord until it is time to act in the capacity He has planned for me.

Ignoring my path leaves me empty. Creating my path leaves me worn out. Walking with God along my path has brought me peace I never imagined.

Grace and peace to you.

I recently heard a great line from a preacher. He set it up by asking “How many more Beth Moore studies do we need to have, how many more men’s prayer and fellowship meetings do we need to have?” Then he drops the line…

“When are we going to put down the playbooks and start running the plays?”

It’s a great question. I have been guilty of being willing to study what I need to do but not getting on the playing field to do it. I have been guilty of telling myself I need to have it all perfect in my head before I can go execute it and have let that stop me from doing much at all. When will I put down the playbook and start running the plays?

I think I’ve come a long ways in that regard and pray that God continues to lead me onto the field to run his plays. Gear Up! was all about running the plays and a lot of Christians got on the field to play.

I thank God for giving me the playbook so I can prepare (and I certainly need to continue studying the plays) but my prayer today is that God will put me in the game and let me play.

Grace and peace to you.

We had the most exciting day at church on Sunday. Instead of doing a traditional VBS this year, some sharp minds mixed with Jesus’ example of serving others and created “Gear Up!” where our church would offer free backpacks and school supplies to some needy folks in Wise County. We had 400 backpacks ready to go and planned to give 100 rainchecks out if needed. We had 1,000 hot dogs ready, puppets, crafts, singing, free haircuts, dental supplies, a notary and immunizations for school kids and 130 or so volunteers ready to do whatever was needed.

From what I have heard, we gave away all the backpacks and 272 rainchecks. The 1,000 dogs were gone and I don’t think any of the volunteers ate any so it was all people who came for the event. I think there were 5 or 6 hair cutting stations that stayed busy for 3 hours. Anywhere from 800 to 1,200 people passed through. What an afternoon!

I know we helped some people financially. I hope we touched some people spiritually. I’m convinced 130+ volunteers went home thankful to be able to give a little to those in need. I believe God was glorified yesterday and seeds were planted. I pray fruit will be borne, that hearts will be changed and that those of us who served will seek more opportunities to keep serving.

I’m thankful for the people who came up with the great idea. I’m thankful for those in need who came. I’m thankful that God was a part of an incredible time of service.

Grace and peace to you.