Category Archives: Christian Living

The Journey – Part 13

10 Thursday Oct 2013

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“There is the God we want and the God that is.  Rarely are they the same.” – Patrick Morley

I have come to learn that God doesn’t bless things, he blesses his people.  I look back now at a prayer life that usually was full of requests for things, not for people.  I prayed for the tangible while God works in the intangible.  I wonder why I don’t get the answers I want and have found it is usually because I am looking in the wrong place.  

I don’t know how to answer the people who say they prayed for a close parking spot at Walmart and got one.  I don’t know how to answer the people who say they prayed for a successful business and got it.  I don’t know how to answer people who pray for tangible results and believe they get them.  I certainly am careful when I respond to people who pray for tangible things and don’t get them.  

I have been guilty of praying to the God I want.  The God who will give me the “things” I want.  I have avoided praying God to show me who I am.  I have failed to pray for a clean and pure heart.  I have seldom prayed to see the world as God sees the world.  

Who knows what I would get if I prayed more diligently for God to reshape me in His image.  What if I prayed to enjoy the wilderness experience?  What if I prayed for God to  do in me what he did in Moses.  In Joseph.  In Jesus.  Do I really want to spend my life out of place, wandering in the desert?  Do I really want to be sold into slavery or imprisoned?  Do I really want to be ridiculed and sacrificed?  Not hardly.

Oh Lord, gently break me and with favor, rebuild me.  

Grace and peace.

The Journey – Part 10

24 Tuesday Sep 2013

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I recently read Jeff Goins book, The In-Between.  I highly recommend it because it spoke to where I have been and where I am in life.

I want God to respond now.  I’m faithful.  I’m praying.  I’m not perfect but I’m trying.  I read scripture, not enough, but I’m getting better.  I desire to live a righteous life.  So why won’t God respond now.

I’m a contingency planner.  I’m always ready for every adverse thing that might happen.  Or, at least, as many options as I can see.  I’m so focused on what might go wrong that I miss what is going right.  Right now.  In front of me.  In this present moment.

I’m so focused on the moment and moments to come that I miss this moment.  I miss the good feeling of being with someone right now because I’m thinking about what I need to be doing next.  I miss the feeling of wanting to be with someone who isn’t around right now and reminding me how much I appreciate them because I’m thinking about what we might do whenever we get back together.  I miss the opportunity to relax, to give, the read, to talk because there are so many other things I think I need to be thinking about.

I’ll be rolling out some quotes from Goins’ book in future posts because I think it’s dead-on revealing about what I miss in life.

I’m trying to learn to live in the moment.  To appreciate it for what it offers me and teaches me.  Tomorrow will be here soon enough.

Grace and peace.

The Journey – Part 8

13 Friday Sep 2013

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One of the things I learned during the dark days and nights was to listen for God.  There are some disciplines that I believe make this possible.  I slowed down.  My days were filled with work and meetings and baseball and trying to make life work after the life I knew was taken away.  It really wasn’t fair.  I didn’t want a divorce.  I didn’t want to fail.  My faith tradition had shown me at an early age that a divorced person was no different than the unclean – a leper who was to be banished.  Fortunately, my church took a very different approach and pulled me even closer.  Fortunately friends let me know that failing was a thing of yesterday, not today, and to keep moving forward.  The challenge in all of it was that I wanted to beat myself up.  There were days I felt like a monster, felt as if driven by inner demons I could not tame nor remove.  Busyness helped cover the problem.  So how to listen for God?

The Old Settlers Reunion Ground in Decatur is an interesting place.  Lots of old ramshackle cabins and new metal buildings that natives of Wise County inhabit for a solid week in Decatur to remember ancestors, renew friendships, eat home cooking, drink some beer and have a great time.  Near the pavilion is a large tree that’s limbs span 50 feet I would guess.  Under the tree is an old wooden picnic table that became my place of solitude, a place to stop and, with best effort, clear my mind to hear God.  I would take a journal with me and write down whatever I felt God laid on my heart that day.  Some days the journal was blank but it was my time to STOP.  To be quiet and listen.  Other days, I came to the same place to read the Bible; to read God’s imparted word and learn from his dreams and plans and ways that were spoken there.  To hear from him.

Listening for God is one of the greatest joys I have known.  It’s quiet.  It’s peaceful.  And he does speak when I will make the time to hear him.

I miss that time.  I’m so busy now.

Grace and peace.

My Letter To All Those Who Know What’s Best For Miley

03 Tuesday Sep 2013

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Really?  You think all your outrage on Facebook and Twitter will cause Miley to pause and think, “wow, maybe my twerking ain’t such a good idea.”  Really?

I’ve seen the video.  I’m not a fan.  I think Miley has some issues.  I don’t think there’s a chance in hell she’s going to listen to my complaints.  Yet, that’s what so many Christians do isn’t it?  I know because I’ve been and will likely be one again.  We complain about what someone else is doing while we surf Facebook, talk about the people who should change their life while sitting in cozy church building classrooms and say every mean thing we can about those damn Democrats in Washington who want socialism and the total moral decay of our society.

Really?

Well, heck, we are Christ-followers, right?  And that’s what Christ did, right?  He stood around and complained.  Or not.

Why not pray that God fill up the heart of Miley?  Why not pray that God fill up the heart of our politicians (and don’t pay too much attention to the Republicans or you may start to think a bunch of them are scoundrels too)?  Talk to your kids about what’s right with Jesus, not what’s wrong with Miley.  Call your political representative and tell them what you are praying for, not about their voting record.  Get involved.  Volunteer at school.  Become a part of the political process.  Teach at your church.  Volunteer at the local food pantry.  Organize giving efforts in your community.

I’ve made a promise to myself that I will gripe about prayer in schools when I start my day and end my day in prayer with my kids, when I share scripture with them once a day and when I show them a life totally dedicated to Jesus.  I don’t think I’ll be griping about prayer in schools anytime soon because I’m not yet emulating what I think is right for me to my children.

I wonder if God is more disgusted about Miley’s performance at the VMA’s or by self-professed Christians who complain about what everyone else is doing wrong while doing little to nothing themselves.  Revelation 3:16.

Please, encourage me to live the life of a Christ-follower.  Help me see the way to Jesus more clearly by emulating it for me.  I promise to do my best to join you and help someone else see the way.

Grace and peace.

Comfortably _______________________

15 Monday Jul 2013

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I was a Pink Floyd fan back in the day (yes, the day was when I was 1 year old so I’m still a young whipper-snapper) and one of my favorite songs was Comfortably Numb.  As I’ve grown up and dealt with many inner demons, I appreciated the idea of being comfortable and being numb to what was going on around and inside of me.

The other day, I heard a song on Air One (a great Christian radio station in the Metroplex) and heard a song I have to go find.  What caught my attention was the phrase “comfortably miserable.”  Yes!  That’s it!  Most of us never live comfortably numb because the pain is always there.  Sure, we can drink it away for a bit or drug it away for a bit and then it’s back.  The truth is, sometimes I just try to live comfortably in my misery.

I’m divorced and have wondered if I’ll ever be able to be in another relationship.  The truth is, I like women a lot.  They have many great traits and they are much better to look at than the vast majority of my male friends.  I see friends that have good to great relationships with their spouse or girlfriend and think I’d like that too.  And then it strikes, the fear of relationship, the fear of loss and I think I’d rather be comfortable in the misery of not loving someone.  Or, I know I have a passion for something that seems risky so I stay in a job that I can do but that I don’t like because, well, it is miserable but comfortable.  Or, there is a friend I need to talk to about his relationship with God but sometimes he gets angry and walks away when anyone talks about God.  I know I should say something because I love him but I fear doing so might end the relationship so I pray that he will change his mind by my (in)actions.  I’m miserable knowing I should speak up but I’m comfortable holding my tongue.

Comfortably miserable.  I would guess there are many Christians that can wear that label.  Most of my best friends have at one point or another just as I have, and, still do at times.

Lord, I don’t want to be comfortably miserable.  The fear is that following you will simply make me uncomfortable.  I say that knowing the times I have walked out of my comfort zone you have done amazing things.  Yet, I want to shrink back to comfort.  Oh Lord, fill me with courage to neither be comfortable or miserable but to be bold and free in you.

Grace and peace.

And Now A Word From Thomas Merton

10 Wednesday Jul 2013

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I’ll let Merton’s words speak without comment…

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude © Abbey of Gethsemani

Grace and peace.

Grace

01 Monday Jul 2013

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Facebook is wearing me out of late.  I should restate that.  Some of my friends on Facebook are wearing me out.  Oh, it’s not the first time.  It happens plenty during election season or whenever some event comes to the news with an opportunity to rant and rave.

Trayvon Martin. Racism. Paula Deen. Texas abortion law. Homosexual marriage rights. Gun control.

I have not killed anyone.  I know I have hurt a lot of people but I have never taken a gun and killed someone.  When it happens, for whatever reason, it is a tragedy.  How many self-professed Christians are condemning Martin or the guy who shot him for their respective actions?  Is it not time for solemn prayer and closed mouths?  How many people have had their spirit killed by the actions of professed Christians who used their own desire or demons to run someone in the ground?

Paula Deen said something she should not have said.  I do not know what it was but if Deen apologized for saying it, I think it safe to assume she should not have said it.  How many words have come out of my mouth I wish I was able to pull back in.  I have self-professed Christian friends on Facebook ripping into Deen and I have self-professed Christian friends on Facebook ripping into those who are ripping into Deen.  (Or is it Dean?)  Is it not time to shut up/stop typing and pray for healing to whomever was offended or hurt?

I believe abortions are wrong.  I believe abortions kill children.  Personally, I find it ironic that some of those most adamant for gun control or also so adamant for “choice”, also called murder by me.  Facebook is alive and well with opinions.  Would it not be more effective for true Christ-followers to gather and pray for the women and doctors and nurses who have performed these abortions.  Yes, they are making a mistake.  Yes, they are taking innocent lives.  Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.

I have made so many mistakes.  I have hurt so many innocent people.  I have led people away from Christ with my words and my actions.  How I hope, and pray, that I have not killed the soul of one who may have come to know Jesus.  Today, at this moment, I am aware enough of my own failings that I simply humble myself before God and cry out, “there, but for the grace of God, go I.”

Father, forgive me for self-righteousness.  Forgive me for failing to see deep hurt and searing pain in your children.  Open my eyes.  Open my ears.  Open my heart.  I pray for an end to bickering and the dawn of a new age of Christ-like love and compassion.  Start with me Lord.  I am guilty.  I am willing.  I want to live in obedience.  Even more, I want to live in freedom and pure joy.  Give me wisdom, speak through my words, speak through my actions.  I want to be a peacemaker and a reflection of your son.

Grace and peace.

Prayer Problems

05 Wednesday Jun 2013

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I’ve been praying a lot.  A LOT.  My life isn’t what I want it to look like.  I have enemies that torture me and others I love.  I have close friends who are struggling.

I am praying and I’m not seeing the responses I want.  Hello?  God?

As I shared this with a friend today, he responded, “quit praying for solutions.  Pray about your feelings.”  Cha-ching.  As I drove home from that meeting, I began praying about my feelings.  Tears started flowing as I got real with God.

No more give me a job, heal the broken-hearted, break down the persecutors and so on.  I was talking to God about why I’m scared, why I feel inadequate and what fear is doing to me.  I was thanking God for the joy of my children, the power of beginning to see myself as He sees me, the feeling of knowing what I am put here to do by understanding my gifting and the hope I have for tomorrow.  And for eternity.

Shortly after that prayer, I started thinking about a talk I’m giving later this month.  Thoughts began flooding my mind of something important to say and chills covered my body with the knowledge that those thoughts were coming directly from God.

Could it be that when I get real with God and express my inadequacy and need for His supernatural power, He will start pouring into me like a fire hydrant with the valve cranked wide open?  I want to be so full of God that He pours out of me.

Grace and peace.