Category Archives: Christian Living

Fear

05 Wednesday Dec 2012

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I find myself often living in fear.  Fear of not measuring up to someone else.  Fear of financial insecurity.  Fear of letting people down.  Fear of what people think about me.  Fear of being hurt again.

I thought about standing near a rollercoaster and the quiet you hear as the cars slowly climb a hill and then the screams you hear as the cars come speeding down the other side.  The people knew what they were getting into when they climbed on the rollercoaster but yet the screams come as soon as they cross the peak.  I find myself doing that at times.  I know the journey to the mountaintop has an experience of coming down off the mountaintop yet I find myself sometimes screaming with fear not knowing when the descent will stop or what will happen when I reach the bottom.

Today is one of those days.  I crested last week and now feel like I am hellbent in rapid descent and that the wheels will come off and the big crash is inevitable.  And the moments come where I think “where is God in this?”

The God who did great things in Job’s life.  The God who led His people to the promised land.  The God who fulfilled His promises to Abraham.  The God who saved the world.  Where is that God in this moment of my life, in this blip of time, in this story that started long ago and will run as long as He chooses?  Where is he in my fear?

I know the question I need to ask is “how strong is my faith?”  How long will I wait in prayer and peace for God to show me what He has planned for me?  Waiting isn’t easy when you see money growing thin, when you wonder if you can meet your obligations.  It just isn’t.  I know God hasn’t called me to do easy things but man, I wish it was easier today.

Today will be a test of my faith.  Will I trust God or will I leave Him behind to find my own answers?  Tough question.  Maybe I will have an answer to share tomorrow.

Grace and peace.

Discipling

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

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“Go and make disciples of all nations…” – Matthew 28-19a

We are told to go.  Not invite.  Not expect people to show up.  Not wait on folks.  Go!

I’ve been thinking about how churches equip people to use their talents and passions to reach others and one of the things I notice is that many churches don’t equip the body.  The plan programs that will draw others into the church.  Jesus said, “go”, not build a program or event.

I AM NOT SAYING PROGRAMS ARE ALL BAD.  I wanted to be clear on that point.  However, starting programs without first equipping the body to go seems counter to what Jesus said to his disciples.  The older I get and the more I want to help other people succeed, the more I see the need to equip people to succeed.

Bible classes are good but they need to equip people to go teach.  Helping the poor by bringing them to events at church are good but the church needs to equip it’s body to go to where the poor exist.  Benevolence is good but the body needs to be ready to go where those who have nothing live.  Feeding the homeless at the church building is a noble effort but preparing people to go into the streets and creek banks and woods where the homeless exist follows the dictates of “go!”

As I sort through many challenges of my life, one of the things I will be aware of is how I am being equipped to go and what role I have in helping others to go.

Grace and peace.

Thankfulness

27 Tuesday Nov 2012

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I woke up Monday morning to the news of a 10 year losing his courageous and long battle with cancer.  Today, I spoke with a man helping me find a job whose son committed suicide after his parents went through an ugly divorce.

Every morning I talk to God and tell Him what scares me and what I’m worried about.  It is getting harder and harder to talk about my fears and worries when I hear stories like the two above.  I have incredible friends who love me and surround me with support when times are hard and when things are rolling along.  I have two kids that make me both humble and proud that God would give me such beautiful gifts.  I have gifts, abilities and talents that will allow me to do many things and have a measure of health that still allows me to get around pretty well.  Those are just a few of the good things I have in my life.

As I write this, I keep coming back to the thought of praying each morning and telling God my fears when He has blessed me so generously in this realm yet, so much more, has blessed me with a victory that will last forever.  How simple-minded I see myself at times that I can focus on what I can feel and see when the greatest gifts are unseen.

I hope my prayers will continue to move to prayers of thanksgiving.  Though I know I can still voice my concerns, I hope my focus sees the blessings but much, much more than that, I hope I continue to grow closer and closer to God so that my focus is on His will and what He has in store for me…today and for eternity.  I have so much to be thankful for and I give God all the glory for the beauty in my life and for His continual presence when life isn’t as beautiful.

I ask that you say a prayer for Rex’s family as they grieve his loss and for Hank and his healing from losing his precious son.

Grace and peace.

Out of Control

23 Friday Nov 2012

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I know people who want total control over their lives (and over the lives of people around them in some cases) and when they don’t have it, become combative, defensive, offensive, mean.  Others become depressed and withdrawn.  Others just keep going faster and faster on a journey to complete flame-out.

I can control one thing and that is how much trust I will put in God.

I’m in a position where the world says I need to be worried, frenetic, and busy.  The world has had some influence because I have given in to all of these things.  At the same time, God tells me he has plans for me (Ephesians 2:10) and if I am to believe that, I should have peace and optimism about what the future holds.

I find it interesting to watch the reaction of Christians when I tell them that I am trusting God, that I am using this time to rest and recover from the busy-oholic life I have been living.  It does not mean I am not working to change my position.  After all, faith without works is dead, right?  However, while I work I am putting more faith in God to open the right doors and I am praying that God does more than I can imagine in this time.

I’m getting some rest (I still haven’t learned to slow down enough to appreciate Sabbath), my health is getting better and my mind is starting to work like it used to again.  I credit this to faith.  To letting controlling what I can and giving control of what I cannot do to God.  I want to be out of control and for Him to be in control.

Grace and peace.

Thanksgiving

22 Thursday Nov 2012

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It’s a day in America where we stop to give thanks (and, apparently shop for the best holiday bargains).  A day.  I need to work on that in my life.

Father God, may I remember to give thanks everyday.  May I learn to live a life of thanksgiving.  I pray I will give you the challenges and burdens of the day while never forgetting to thank you for the one and only thing that really has meaning for me, your love, mercy, grace, and salvation.  Father, my desire this day is to be thankful every day, all day, for what truly has meaning and that the things of life will be seen with perspective for who you are and for all you have given me and sacrificed for me.

May the words of my lips and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you Lord and may my actions reflect your love.  May I learn to see people the way you see them and I pray I will learn to treat them with all the compassion and love you have shown me.

Thank you for Jesus, for His life and example, for His death and love and for His resurrection and the hope He gives me and all men.

In the Holy name of Jesus I pray, amen.

Grace and peace.

Do You Know Me?

21 Wednesday Nov 2012

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There are days when a topic, idea or theme seems to come around more frequently and I can’t help but wonder why or what I need to learn from it.  Today the theme is supporting people whether you agree with their decisions or not.

A dear and trusted friend told me today, “You’re a good friend to support people no matter their decisions.”  This was after an hour long conversation with another very close friend about a third friend and the decision the third friend was making.  Is there something God is wanting me to hear in this?  Or share?

I have found that the people who typically give me their advice on what I need to do have not really listened to me and do not know my heart.  Oh, they see they outside manifestations of what I do but they don’t listen enough to really know me.  They don’t know what I’m hiding, what I’m afraid to say, what I’m afraid to do, what I’m too stubborn to do anyway.  They don’t listen.  A year ago I was attacked by a man at my church for a decision I had made.  He doesn’t know me.  He has never asked me any questions about who I am, where I am with God, whether I pray or what my hopes and desires are, nothing about me.  Yet, he knew the right answer for my situation and knew God knew I was making a mistake.  Do I believe God speaks through people?  Definitely.  Do I believe there are prophets among us to share a word from God?  Certainly.  Do I believe God would send someone to me who I have no relationship with, no trust in, who doesn’t know any of my story or what has happened to me, to tell me what I need to do?  No, I just don’t believe that.

Now, I cherish the opinions of the people I draw in, the people I am able to share my heart with, to confess to, to dream with and who pray with and over me.  These are the people who are the closest to knowing the true me, knowing my heart, as there is to God.  I have found they offer opinions but spend more time listening and in prayer than talking.  I see Jesus in them.  Jesus knows me yet He doesn’t even tell me what to do.  He leaves things to my will and in that moment, I hope I will learn to listen to Him more than make my own choices.

I see where my choices have taken me.  I’m divorced, I’m separated from my children, I’m unemployed and I’m scared.  That is where my choices have taken me.  I also see where my mistakes have led me.  Closer to God.  Sadly, I learn too few lessons from all the times I’ve done the right thing, the better thing, the thing I have prayed about and listened to the Spirit.  I glide through those and am happy they worked out the way they did.  It’s in my mistakes, my failings, falling flat on my face in agonizing pain that I have learned to draw nearer to God, that I have allowed myself to become a little more intimate with Him.  Are my friends any different?

I support my friends but not always their decisions.  If they ask, I will give them my opinion, I will pray with them and over them and then I will support them.  If God is leading them to green pastures and still waters, I want to walk with them.  If their decision is leading to a crash in the desert, I want to walk with them.  God has given me insight and experiences to share but He knows their hearts better than me, He knows His will for them, I do not.

I have walked through green pastures with my friends when I thought their decisions weren’t the best choice and I have walked through hard times with friends when I thought things were looking up.  God knows their hearts and I am here to show His love.  I pray for my choices and for those of my friends.  I am learning to trust God more and more with my circumstances and I can more easily trust Him with the circumstances of others.

I hope the people around me will simply love me through thick and thin.  I hope I will simply love my friends through thick and thin.  Only God knows.  Only God knows what is right.  Only God heals wounds.  I can love.  I can encourage.  I can cry and pray and share in joyous victory.

The Skit Guys made a statement in a video called The Chisel that sticks with me.  “You have never let God down because you never held Him up.  He holds you up with His mighty right hand.”  I am not holding my friends up, God is, and I they will not let me down.  Oh, there may be hurt and pain.  I’ve seen the collateral damage I’ve left because of choices I made.  Still, it is only God that holds me up.  It is only God who’s strength I need in the end.  He knows me.  He knows my heart, both the beauty and the areas that need more refinement.  I will be there for my friends to lean on and I will remind them that God holds them up, He provides the foundation and He has the answers for their life.  Just as he does for mine.

I hope my friends will be there to lean on, to help me see His will and to work through the rough spots and share joy in the good times.  I hope I will always be that person for them too.

Grace and peace.

Biblical Politics

20 Tuesday Nov 2012

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Jesus came to be a political leader, right?  Oh, OK.  Well, He came to be an example of proper political ruling, right?  Oh, OK.  Well then, He was an advisor to political campaigns, right?  Really, none of those?

I think one reason I am so far removed from my old interest in politics is because of any talk that God is into politics.  Would Jesus have voted for Mitt?
I don’t know.  I’m not sure Jesus would have even voted based on the amount of time he didn’t talk about politics.  That said, here are a few suggestions to help us all be better Christians regardless of who holds the office of President.

Let me suggest that abortion isn’t a legislative issue but a heart issue.  Would Jesus ask the government to change their ruling on abortion or would He ask His followers to love more, show more grace, be more compassionate and treat people with much more respect?  Can you imagine someone Jesus came in contact with having an abortion after being in the presence of His love?  I think He has called us to be like Him.

Let me suggest that our focus should be on the poor and downtrodden more than on our tax rate.  Jesus didn’t call us to create jobs and save more, He called us to help those who needed help.  The church in Acts 2:42 didn’t teach better financial planning, they sold all they had and gave to those in need.  What did God tell His people when he sent the manna they needed?  Those who tried to save more than their daily allotment found maggots in it the next day.

Let me suggest we should spend more time with people of opposing viewpoints than arguing against them.  Jesus didn’t hang out at the country club with the people who voted like He did.  He was with the sinners, the poor, the lame and blind.  No, I am not suggesting that one party is full of sinners, poor, lame and blind.  For those who think that, be wary you are not in the party that is full of pride (that leads to destruction).  We can argue with people or we can love them.  What do you see in Jesus’ actions?

Let me suggest the breakdown of the family unit isn’t caused by the allowance of gay marriage or any other rule by government or legislative entities.  The breakdown of our home stems more from the TV shows we spend time watching, the movies we spend time watching, the computers we spend time on, the committees we invest in our time in and many other time killers while the Bible goes unread and unstudied in the home, prayers are not said in the home and Jesus isn’t discussed much or modeled in the home.

Let me suggest this is not a Christian nation.  Who said it was in the first place?  Certainly not God and He is the authority, right?  Look at what goes on in this nation of ours and tell me what is so Christian about it.  The number of homeless?  The number of oversized houses?  The number of poor?  The number of wealthy?  I think China may be more of a Christian nation than the USA is today.  Who looks more like the Christians in the Bible, those who thank God for the freedom to worship or those who worship knowing they may be killed for their choices?  Sobering.

Let me suggest politics is not the problem in our country.  The lack of love, the lack of understanding, the lack of mercy, the lack of grace, the lack of patience, the lack of compassion – these are the issues that has our country in the state it is in today.

If you are living a life that looks like Christ, I commend you.  I am still working on it and all the things written above have or do apply to me.  I am a work in progress and I am asking daily that God permeate every inch of me day by day so that I can look more like His son and less like the person I have been for so many years.  God wants so much more for me and for everyone in this country.  I hope we all grab hold of His vision.

Grace and peace.

 

Do You Know Me?

18 Sunday Nov 2012

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This post may morph into two separate posts.  It is a mash-up of two thoughts from today.  One is the idea of “biblical point of view” and the other is respect for others.  I’ll start with the respect for others as I begin thinking about how it all works together.  (That was a lot of rambling, huh?)

As I stood in line at Freebirds today, I was struck by the young man helping.  He was very polite, courteous and helpful.  He also had a nose ring, oblong spacers in his ears, at least 4 piercings in one of his ears and tattoos.  Not exactly the path I have followed.  As I took it all in, I wondered how many people judged this young man based on a) his courteous attitude or b) his appearance.

“What’s that going to look like when he’s old?”  Heard that question before?  How many 80 year old people are proud of their pristine, still smooth as a baby’s bottom skin?  There are so many things we worry about for tomorrow while missing the joys of today.  I have more “I wish I woulda’s” than I care to count.  Multiple piercings are not among them but I know what I wish I would have done, why judge what another person has decided to do.  If he regrets it all when he’s 80, that is his issue and won’t be mine, either now or then.

“The body is a temple.”  Oh wow.  I wonder how often this is uttered by people who have filled their bodies with bad foods, cigarettes, or who have filled their eyes and minds with worthless, if not blatantly evil, TV shows and movies.  God didn’t give us our bodies to be perfect.  If so, few would measure up.  He gave us bodies to use, to fulfill the work of Jesus in our time.  And what does ashes to ashes and dust to dust mean?  Is God going to be hacked off if our body, that will decay, has a tat or a piercing on it?  Seriously, there are people in our daily periphery who are starving to death; starving from malnutrition, starving from loneliness, starving from the absence of God in their life and I just find it impossible to believe God worries about what someone inks on their body.

Finally, how can we say anything about another person’s choices if we don’t know that person.  A little over a year ago, I had a gentleman at my church attack me for a decision I had made that he felt was contrary to the Bible’s teaching.  He felt this way because he made an assumption about a situation and didn’t know the facts.  He attacked me in front of friends and while they tried to stand up for me, I simply let him talk.  We parted without further conversation because my friends thought it best to get me away from him.  Some months later I had the chance to talk to him and told him I didn’t appreciate how he treated me and what he said and that I disagreed with him.  He started over on how my choice was wrong and I just asked him, “do you know me?  Do you know all the facts?  I ask this because God knows me, He knows my heart and He knows the fact and I rest securely in that.”  Jesus knew the people he talked to.  He knew their situation and He knew their heart.  I didn’t know the guy behind the counter, how he grew up, why he did what he did to his body, what his experiences were, what his heart was like.  How can I make judgment without knowing a person.

I write all of this because I have experienced judgment again recently.  I know what it is like to have people talk about you behind your back, to cast judgment on you without all the facts.  It hurts but I know God knows me.  He knows my heart.  He knows where I have failed and why.  I won’t hold it against anyone for speaking against me.  I pray that God (and I) will show them the grace and mercy He has shown me.  I am a sinner.  I have fallen short of His perfection.  God knows me.

I hope to capture my thoughts about others and turn them over to God.  I hope to see people as God sees them.  I hope to give them the love and grace He casts on them.

Grace and peace.