No posts in almost 2 weeks.  It’s been busy.  It’s been rough.  It’s been fun.  It’s been defeating at times too.

My son turned 17.  I can’t believe it’s been 17 years.  I’m not old enough to have a 17 year old and I’m certainly not ready for a kid one year away from leaving for college. 

Summer baseball started.  We had a WET weekend in San Antonio after our previous tournament was rained out on the last day.  SA was full of mud and I was the one getting to watch the baseball uniform.  Lucky me!  This past weekend was great for baseball and my son played great.  He won game 1 as a starter and went 5-for-11 at the plate in the remaining games.  The team went 3-2 so it was a decent weekend over all.  We also saw his summer coach from last year.  He gave me lots of compliments about my son that I passed along to him.  Cool stuff.

I got to spend about 10 days with my daughter.  She’s an interesting kid.  She loves to sleep late, stay up late and not do much but when she gets going she’s like a whirling dervish.  She’s also artistic and we are hanging several of the photos she’s done around the house.  I’m so proud of her abilities and her desires to teach and do well in school.  I like hanging out with her and learning from her whether it’s technology or something she is learning in school.  Such a cool girl.

The job hunt/business acquisition hunt is still going slow.  It’s hard to wait and wonder what God has in store but I am working on my thankfulness and gratefulness for what I do have.  And for what God may be doing in my life. 

I’m speaking to a management group Friday night on Time Management and to a church Sunday night on Identity.  I suppose I should be putting something in writing but it’s all floating around in my head right now. 

That’s all.  That’s catching up and reminding myself about a few things that the last 2 weeks have brought. 

Now it’s off for a little more prayer and petitioning to God for what I hope He has planned for me.  That’s confusing isn’t it?

Grace and peace.

My mind runs wild.  I find concentrating often hard to do because one thought triggers another.  I’ve tried praying where the object is to clear the mind and listen.  Talk about tough.  Wow.  When I pray and speak to God, my mind often wonders off course even in that time.  I’m sure God wants to reach down and thump me on the head at times.

I was reading Jesus Calling today and the writer talks about turning my mind over to God.  I would really, really like to do that but I seem to have a mind that He created that doesn’t stop spinning, doesn’t stop finding new tangents to travels.  In all of that whirling madness, there is fear and wondering if God’s will is so far from my hopes that I’m 90 to 180 degrees off course.  Do I think I’ll find a job that pays well, let’s me stay close to my son, provide support for my children and to give generously and God’s will is something so different that I’m fighting against it?  Or is it that He is still developing something in me and wants to run the string out until I’m about to break – mentally, emotionally, spiritually?

I’m thankful for the encouragers in my life.  I’m surrounded by people who keep telling me great things are going to happen.  People who tell me that God is working in me preparing me for something that will blow me away.  People telling me that the right moment is still ahead of me.  I appreciate it and really do try to take it to heart.  I really do.  It’s just hard.

God, take control.  Make my mind full of your thoughts.  Cover me up with you.

Grace and peace.

How much planning do I need to do?  I can only respond to what happens today, so why do I spend so much time thinking about 20 other things that could happen?

Yesterday, I was in a Bible class discussing Nehemiah.  The teacher suggested Nehemiah had spent much time planning what he would say to the King if given the opportunity to go back to Jerusalem and rebuild the walls.  As I have thought about that lesson, I don’t think Nehemiah had thought much about it at all.  He had simply prayed for favor, not solutions.  I think Nehemiah may have simply been reacting with thoughts God was pouring into his head because he was open to God’s design.

I think I often plan God right out of the picture.  Or, I create an elaborate plan and ask God to do what I need Him to do to fulfill my grand plan.  Maybe I have it backwards?

Grace and peace.