Category Archives: relationship

I Am Second

14 Monday Feb 2011

Posted by in I Am Second, iamsecond, relationship

≈ 1 Comment

I’ve shared this here before but something said yesterday brought it back to mind.  Many of you have seen the iamsecond.com web site and some of the awesome monologues there.  I think it’s a great idea even if they won’t let me into their club…or at least they wouldn’t the last time I tried to become a member but that’s another story.  Where I was going is the idea of being second to God.  I grew up being taught that I was 3rd or maybe even lower down the scale.  The God came first, others came second and then I might fit in to 3rd.  The acronym JOY was used (Jesus/Others/Yourself) to teach us how to live humbly.  I understand the concept and realize how easy it is to start splitting hairs over semantics but, personally, I think it’s wrong teaching. 

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The greatest command is to love God with all my heart, soul and mind.  The second is to love my neighbor AS MYSELF.  I capitalized those last two words because how am I supposed to love my neighbor as myself if God is first, they are second and I am third?  Here’s where I’m going with this.  The only relationship in the world I need to get right is the one between God and me.  If he’s first and I’m right next to Him, then the other relationships will figure themselves out because God will be flowing through me.  I don’t need to worry about serving others if I’m not right with God and the more things I put between God and me, the more trouble I’m going to have staying focused on what His will is.  I think it’s best that I make sure I’m staying on the same page as God and then I can be a servant to others but not before I am whole with God. 

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I spent a lot of years trying to put others first, often failing at it but trying, and I never really got close to God.  Now, as I desire to get closer and closer to Him, to make Him first and me a close second, I am learning how I can serve others much better through His power. 

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I am second and I plan to stay there.  Again, maybe I’m splitting hairs but this is how I need to approach my walk with God so that I grow closer to Him. 

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Grace and peace to you.
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Things I’m Wrestling With – Day 4

03 Thursday Feb 2011

Posted by in conflict, relationship

≈ 4 Comments

Relationships and conflict.
Do you know many relationships that don’t suffer conflict at some point.  Best friends in school get mad at each other for the craziest reasons.  Brothers and sisters fight over the littlest things.  Co-workers battle over turf.  Parents and children argue over problems, big and small.  Husbands and wives fight.  Relationships come with conflicts and as much as I don’t want conflict, it seems to often follow – personal relationships, business relationships, all relationships.  Conflict is all around me at work, at home, at church.
I hear it said that God made us for relationships and yet so many relationships are full of conflict, some experience it less often, others more often.  I wonder why.  OK, maybe I have a good idea why but it doesn’t make me feel better about it, doesn’t make me walk away whistling Blue Skies and Rainbows.
Historically, I haven’t dealt well with personal conflict.  I avoid it.  I deny it.  I mask it.  And, my way of dealing with conflict has likely cost me a great price in emotional, spiritual and physical health and peace.  I hope to learn to do conflict better one day because today, today I am just worn out from it, completely drained and emotionally bankrupt.  I often hear Rodney King in my head, “can’t we just all get along?” and wonder the same thing.
One day I hope I manage conflict better.  I believe God is leading me to help others with conflict and to prepare myself professionally and personally to be active in reducing and eliminating conflict.  I pray that the obstacles to accomplish this are removed and I believe they will be if this is what God is calling me to do.  I’m hopeful for what the future holds. 
Have you done anything to help reduce or eliminate conflict in your life?

Grace and peace to you.
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