22 Thursday Mar 2012

Posted by Seeking Peace in John 16:33, peace, suffering, trouble

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”); document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src='” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”)); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-12356560-1”); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}

I want peace but usually find I am troubled.

Some people say I have trouble saying “no” (Hi mom!). I suppose I do at times. A friend texted me today to see if I could handle something for him at church this weekend because he has to be out of town. Of course I said yes.

I was talking to someone the other night and asked the question I often ask myself, “so what do I cut out?” All the things I do are important to me so cutting something out means I don’t do something that is important, or at least worthy, in my own mind. However, these choices do bring trouble. Lack of sleep. Periods of mental fuzziness. Stress. Tension.

Eventually, my body will crash and sleep will be a necessity. Eventually my mind will clear up. Eventually the stress and tension and grumpiness will pass and I’ll be left remembering the choices I made to do the things I thought were worthy. I hope in that time I will find peace.

In this world I will have trouble. Trouble with my decisions. Trouble with other people’s decisions. Trouble with temptation and dark forces. Lots of trouble. That’s what the world brings but Christ has overcome the world. I will get through the good and the bad of this life but I continue to yearn for what lies ahead, for the ultimate peace the Christ has planned for me.

Grace and peace.

Marking Time

22 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by Seeking Peace in joy, Rick Ross, suffering

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Today is a hard anniversary for very close friends. Some of you may know the store of Rick and Beverly Ross and the tragic loss of their daughter, Jenny, a wife to David and mother to Malaya. I hurt for them and my heart is heavy for them on this day.

Why does God let these things happen? It’s a question I’ve asked about personal situations in the past because I believe God can do anything, but he doesn’t always do the thing we want him to do. Why do moms die leaving 3 children with a father who kills himself 4 months later? Why do children die? Why does an 11 year old have bone cancer? Why do families fall apart? These are questions I often ask wondering what God is doing.

Why did God give his own son to die for me? It’s another question I ask wondering what God was thinking.

I remind myself from time to time that God knows suffering. He knows extreme, intense pain. Why is that I’m expecting I won’t have to face it or my friends won’t have to face it when God made a choice that caused great suffering. His son didn’t simply die. God allowed it to happen for a bigger purpose.

Is my suffering going to be for a bigger purpose? Will my friend’s suffering be for a bigger purpose? I don’t know but I do know the pain doesn’t go away. In whole or in part, it will remain.

So the question becomes will we trust God when the world crumbles? Will we hold onto our faith? There were days I didn’t know if I would or if I could but another question always lingered. It’s a question Rick Ross asked me when I felt my world was going completely dark. Where else will you go?

So we mark time. We mark the times of our suffering and the reminder that follow and we mark time until we leave this place of suffering and join the party to be united with God. I will live out my days with joy for the blessings I experience, with pain for the wounds I’ve experienced and marking time while crying out, Lord, come quickly!

Grace and peace to you.

The Hard Days

19 Monday Dec 2011

Posted by Seeking Peace in bad decisions, pain, suffering

≈ 2 Comments

December 17 is a hard day. A day with bad memories. It comes just shortly before Christmas, a time that is supposed to be a happy time, a celebratory time…and yet the days leading up to Christmas are hard days. var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”); document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src='” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”)); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-12356560-1”); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}

How is one supposed to get through hard days? How am I supposed to get through hard days with a smile of my face and a spring in my step? The easy answer is Jesus, the son of God who has suffered more than any other human but the easy answer doesn’t immediately make me feel warm and fuzzy.

This I know. The hard days move into history and my hope is that in the days to come, on the December 17th’s that will follow, the days will be easier and the pain will lessen. I do trust in God to bring healing. December 17 will never be a day of great happiness for what has happened in this world but I know in my head that there can still be joy for what is to come. I look forward from that knowledge moving from my head to my heart.

Grace and peace to you.

Lessons From The Road

08 Thursday Dec 2011

Posted by Seeking Peace in house, Poverty, suffering

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var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”); document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src='” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”)); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-12356560-1”); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {} Last Wednesday, I took off with a good friend on a little road trip to Las Vegas. It’s a work trip and I was driving one of our dealership’s Freightliners and pulling a really nice Cimmaron living quarters trailer. I knew it was a bad sign when we had to stop before getting out of Wise County because someone forgot to put something on the trailer. It’s so easy to turn a 10 hour drive into a 14 hour drive.

Driving across parts of New Mexico and Arizona, it’s easy to see the poverty that exists around us. Houses that look like no more than plywood on dirt covered lots. Travel trailers that would come apart if you hooked it up to a truck are homes for families.

As I consider buying a house, I’m caught between what “seems” normal in my world and what is necessary when I consider God’s creation. Oh for a few more square feet when people are living in houses that may fall apart. I can’t help but wonder if my rationalization for more house (I’ll use it for small groups/youth groups/yada-yada) isn’t just that – rationalization. At the same time I realize money and more of this or that won’t change everyone’s life and those people may prefer to do whatever it is they do to make that their home. Still, my heart won’t quit hurting knowing there are people out there that life, circumstances, bad decisions and the hurt of other people have pushed them down to a point of suffering that I can’t comprehend.

I look forward to the day we are all dancing with God in his palace.

Grace and peace to you.

P.S. Dancing is metaphorical. I’m not sure everyone will have rythym in heaven and I’d still rather be fishing than dancing.

Things I’m Wrestling With – Day 2

01 Tuesday Feb 2011

Posted by Seeking Peace in Batman, Job, suffering

≈ 1 Comment

Job. (The guy in the Bible, not my workplace.)
I led a Bible study at work last Wednesday about the topic of suffering and, believe it or not, Job’s name came up. Go figure. I love the story of Job because it brings me comfort. So, what am I wrestling with?
Three different people in the last 2 months have told me they don’t believe all the stories in the Bible are literal and they all pointed to the story of Job as one of those stories. Two people referred to it as a myth, another as a parable.
Now, before my good conservative church friends allow their blood pressure to get too high, let me tell you what I think starting with the part that might make you think I’ve gone kookier than before…
I’m OK with those people believing what they believe. The reason why is that I have come to believe many things about God and His word and His power and His love (I could go on) much differently than I did before the big storm of my life. I have come to believe that people see things and hear things that a few years ago would have made me think they needed to be in a rubber room. I am open to many, many things people believe about God because I have come to see so much so differently – so I don’t argue with these people who challenge my beliefs, I embrace them because the challenge makes me think, makes me talk to God, makes me search my heart and my connection with God to examine what I believe. Those who challenge me have a very special place in my heart because they challenge me to be more in-touch with the Almighty Lord.
So, here’s where I am on the story of Job after spending some time thinking about it. I believe the story is absolutely real. I need the story of Job to be real because I need to know that he overcame the pain of suffering and was a better person for it. I need to know that he lived with the scars of pain, the memories of pain and still became the person God wanted him to be. You see, for me, if the story is not real then I have no more connection with Job than I do with Batman. If Job isn’t real, he doesn’t speak to my suffering. If Job isn’t real, I don’t even know if God is real and if God isn’t real, there is no purpose to my life. I need to know that God allowed Job’s suffering because God HAD FAITH in his creation, had faith that what He had created in His image could survive suffering by trusting in the Maker and be better for it. I believe Job is real and his story is real and his suffering is real and his redemption is real because I believe that is what the power of God can do…His power can allow that suffering because it is stronger than the pain. And, I want a God who challenges me to grow and to be more than I would be just floating through this life and I want a God who will remind me that He is the greatest and there is no greater, that the one I choose to worship didn’t need me to set the cornerstone of the earth or to create it’s measurements or to tell the sea to stop and go no further and who’s voice rises above the clouds.
Will I continue to wrestle with the story of Job; with the thoughts of my friends who challenge me? I hope so because it will keep me engaged but today, I do not wrestle with the realness of Job’s story, instead of jump in it and splash around in it like kids jump in a pool, full of joy that my Lord can do mighty things in me just as He did with Job.

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Grace and peace to you.
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God Answers Prayers

07 Thursday Oct 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Abraham, fight, floods, Noah, suffering

≈ 2 Comments

The Rangers won soundly. Could there be any doubt God answers prayer? OK, just trying to be funny there so I hope I don’t get hit by lightning. Go get ’em, CJ!

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Then, in the midst of a hard day mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I hear this comment; “when did God ever ask anyone to do something that was easy?” It was an answer to the prayer of “where are you God?” I’m starting to feel alone again, abandoned may be a better word. I’m under attack and trying to understand things but it’s hard right now. Tough stuff is happening with/through people close to me and it is trying and I wonder why God isn’t setting hearts and minds right and then I get that question posed today. And I think it’s God answer to my question of where He is. He’s right here, ready to walk me through a hard time but using the hard time to open my eyes, to open my mind, to open my heart to His desire to exhibit love in all things.

That Week That Is

21 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in covenant prayer, suffering, Wesley

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This is a week that could take a lot out of me emotionally so I set myself up to be filled up with the Spirit and things of God. Oddly enough, I’m being filled with talk about suffering and how I can find light in my suffering.

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A dear friend told me once, “I don’t trust anyone who hasn’t suffered.” I may be paraphrasing a bit but that’s the idea I got from what was said and a thought I have hung onto because I find myself in the same place. People who want to offer advice and suggestions who haven’t yet walked a difficult road seem to have empty words for me but people who have suffered greatly, many much more than me, often say little verbally yet speak volumes spiritually and emotionally.

I am no longer my own, but yours.

Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;

put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for you or laid aside by you,

enabled for you or brought low by you.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things

to your pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God,

Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

you are mine and I am yours. So be it.