Surrender

24 Thursday Nov 2011

Posted by Seeking Peace in surrender, Thanksgiving

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Sunday, I spoke for our communion focus at church and shared the idea of surrender as seen through my eyes.

It’s not a word most people use often or like very much. The idea of turning power, control and authority over to another isn’t something that naturally appeals to most people, certainly not me. Most of my life has been in battle, my will versus God’s desire for me, my control of my life or his control of my life. I fought valiantly and always thought I could win the battle, retain control, have the power…but I lost. I finally gave in, I finally waved the white flag, I finally submitted to a force that was greater than me.

In Matthew’s account of Jesus’ death, I find these words in chapter 27, verses 50-52:
⁵⁰ And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.
⁵¹ At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split ⁵² and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. [emphasis mine]

I remember when I gave up my spirit. I felt the foundation underneath me shake and I knew something greater than me was in control and I have felt it time and again after going back into battle for my will. Oh, I surrender much faster now because I know the battle won’t be won and the power of God is greater and stronger and more steadfast than anything I would muster…or hope to.

My victory has been found in my surrender. My triumph is evident when I lay my battle down and submit to the Lord, the creator and the savior. I became a victor when I surrendered to the power of the sacrifice on the cross and the resurrection from the dead by Jesus Christ.

Today, I am thankful for surrender. Thankful that Jesus gave up his spirit, thankful that I made the decision to give up mine too.

Grace and peace to you.

I’ve Lost That Blogging Feeling

10 Thursday Nov 2011

Posted by Seeking Peace in retail, shopping, Thanksgiving, WalMart

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My energy and passion for writing my blog is being sucked lifeless by the rest of my life. var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”); document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src='” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”)); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-12356560-1”); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}

Right now, I’m sitting in the Las Vegas airport wondering if I’ll ever get home. It’s been one of those days. I overslept 30 minutes and got to the airport to find out a) my flight was leaving 40 minutes earlier than what I thought and b) the Las Vegas American Airlines people give up your seat 30 minutes before boarding if you’re on a free flight and the flight is oversold. So, they give me a ticket on the next flight out and I proceed to the security area where the TSA agent asks me what name I go by. I said “Jeff” and he said “so who’s Gregory?” The gate agent issued me the wrong ticket. I head back to the gate and find out I can’t get on that flight but I can get out on the next flight. Now that flights been delayed for over 2 hours. So, I was supposed to leave at 9:00 and now I’m leaving at 3:20. The bad part is that I’m missing time with my son which is a killer.

The good part is that I’m getting some school work done on Identity and Culture. I take a break to look at Yahoo News and see that Wal-Mart is opening at 10:00pm on Thanksgiving night and I immediately wonder what that says about our culture. We are a people thankful for cheap deals? I make my living working for a company who gets paid to sell people stuff and it’s our job to figure out how to make it easy for them to spend more money with us but I’m very frustrated by retailers doing some of the holiday stuff they do. Of course, they wouldn’t do it if the consumer didn’t eat it up so in the end I know where to put the blame which leads me back to the question of who we are.

And who’s we are.

Grace and peace to you.

Thanksgiving. The Day After

26 Friday Nov 2010

Posted by Seeking Peace in Lord, love, Thanksgiving

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I have spent some time this past week wondering what all people will say and what I would say when asked, what are you giving thanks for. My world has been turned upside down and I have been separated from what has meant the most to me on this earth. Honestly, I still don’t feel very thankful at times but there are some things that stand out to me:

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I’m thankful for the people who have loved me knowing my failings and my darkest secrets. You have given me courage to continue facing a new day each morning.
I’m thankful for the people I have asked to pray specific prayers for me because I am in a season where I seldom pray.
I’m thankful for the people who have prayed for me not knowing what to pray for or ask for. God knows your heart and I trust He has used your love for me in ways He knows are best.
I’m thankful for people who have suffered greatly before me because you can speak to my pain and sadness and heartbreak with understanding.
I’m thankful for people who have challenged me in my thoughts and desires. Your desire to keep me from going backwards by lovingly, and sometimes harshly, pushing me forward has been a blessing.
I’m thankful for Christian counseling. I have learned things about myself, my heart and my mind that have walked me through years of mistakes to the root causes allowing me to begin working on changes that will hopefully aid me in making good decisions into the future.
I’m thankful for brief words of kindness and a hug. Knowing you care means more than I can put into words.
I’m thankful for people who let me be honest when they ask how I’m doing. You know that sometimes what you will hear will be painful, ugly and filled with tears and you allow me to do it anyway.
I’m thankful for people who have brought their brokenness to me. You have shown me that God can and will use my grief and pain for His glory.

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I am thankful for a loving and patient Lord. You, Lord, have taught me that the prodigal son story isn’t just a Bible story but my story. You have shown me that my story fits in your story, a story of broken people who have fallen and continue to find your love ever-present. You have shown me what love is and should be. You have shown me that it is OK to live through the mistakes of my past because you love what will be, not what was. You have shown me that there is healing in confession and the power of relationships that are aligned with you. You have shown me what it is to wait, patiently. You never quit me, you never let go, you never stopped loving and being faithful in your hope for me. Without you I know there would be nothing to be thankful for. With you, I know there will be joy in the days ahead. You, Lord, are what I am truly thankful for.
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