I haven’t done a good job blogging of late.  There is much on my mind but, once again, it’s not coming out of my head and onto paper in a sensible state.  Many people would tell you that most of what comes out of my head doesn’t come out in a sensible state.  I don’t always disagree! 

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GO RANGERS!  Cliff Lee is on the bump tonight.  I don’t care what you have planned.  Drop it and watch the game.  If you are a Yankees fan, I hope your sewer has problems and you get tied up with that. 

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I had some great conversations with friends, new and old, this weekend.  Wonderful times.

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Here’s a thought I had from yesterday that I’m still working on but it’s rolling around in my head; I look for God to be a warrior in my physical life and expect Him to serve me in my spiritual life.  God is expecting me to serve Him in my physical life while He takes on the role of warrior in my spiritual life. 

I hear people talk about God being a warrior and I wonder why He isn’t winning the battles I want Him to win.  I think I’m looking in the wrong places again, wanting God to do my will.  I read John Eldredge and others talking about the God in battle and I don’t see the victory but I’m looking in the physical realm and ignoring the spiritual realm.  ALERT!  God’s not the problem here.

It was a good reminder for me of where the battle is, of what the lamb is and who should be serving who (or is that whom?). 

Grace and peace to you.

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The Rangers won!  Here’s to hoping the next series goes at least 6 games because I have tickets for Game 6. 

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I thought it was cool that the players celebrated with ginger ale so Josh Hamilton and C.J. Wilson could join the party.  That’s a little glimpse of who this team is.

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The scripture that popped up on my blog today was Jeremiah 29:11.  I love it but always wish Jeremiah 29:12 would contain specifics of what the plans are for me.

I wish I didn’t have desert places.  I feel like I’m entering into one now and it seems impossible to explain to someone else why I feel that way.  But I do.  I know God uses the desert to teach me and refine me.  I would prefer a cabin in the mountains.  The desert is so desolate.  It doesn’t have all the stuff I want, the stuff that makes me comfortable, that stuff that allows my mind to wander, the stuff I’m used to.  No, it’s just me and God.  Me learning to trust that all I need will be provided and to be content with that.  God there with his arms open, waiting for me to choose him or my own path.  I don’t like the desert but my previous trip through it brought me to new heights of recognition of who and what God is and for that, I am thankful for the journey.

Grace and peace to you.

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The Rangers play tomorrow for all the marbles.  I wish I felt better about it.

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Charity: Water.  Check it out at www.charitywater.org.  This is an organization that has a great story and is doing a great work.  I heard the founder speak at Catalyst East 2010 last week and it was a great experience that makes me want to do much, much more to help the world.  I’ll probably have more to say about Charity: Water in the coming days/weeks.

I want to give more money away.  I’ve heard of people recently who are trying to build their budget so they can give 50% of their income away.  One of the first comments I hear from people in the church is “but, what about _____________________?”  You can fill in the blank with retirement, emergency funds, college funds, etc.  The question I want to ask myself is “how am I going to get there?” 

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I’m frustrated I can’t help a friend break through a wall in his relationship with God.  I have to keep reminding myself that it is his relationship and he has to own it.  I can’t do it for him but I sure want to because I know the pain he is in now and I know there is a way out.  I pray God gives me the words to say to him that will help him check his ego and fall on his face before the Lord.

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Separation from the people you love the most is hard.  I wish I could re-write history in a more favorable script for my life but I don’t have yesterday anymore and I don’t have tomorrow yet…just today.  While my pain doesn’t subside a great deal, I pray that I will walk the path God has for me today and that I will align my desire with His good and perfect plan for me.

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I heard a great message this past Sunday.  I love Romans and the many, many messages that are there to lift me up and draw me closer to God. 

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Grace and peace to you.
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I expected silence yesterday.  Be perfect.

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I covered that verse with some 9th grade guys Wednesday night and one started to ask “were supposed to be…?”  He, and most of the others, hadn’t considered that we are supposed to be perfect.  I asked “what does it mean?” and started getting “but God knows we aren’t perfect”, “God sent Jesus because He knew we’d mess up” and “we can’t be perfect.”  I loved the last one.  We can’t?  My response was simply “why?” which was only met with silence.

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We are called to perfection.  Not simply doing our best.  Not just trying to be as good or better than the best person we know.  Perfection.  So, why is it so easy for some to say “don’t beat yourself up” or “you can’t be perfect” when we mess up?  I’m called to perfection so pointing out my failings and learning from my mistakes should be only a natural progression to striving for perfection, shouldn’t it?

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Why do baseball players take hundreds of practice swings a day?  Why do golfers hit hundreds of golf balls a day?  Why do musicians practice their instrument hours and hours each week?  Why does anyone who wants to be the best in the endeavor work on being the best?  The best strive for perfection.  I don’t know an accomplished baseball player who ever said they wanted to hit 3 out of 10.  They did everything they could to hit 10 out of 10.  I’ve never heard a professional golfer say they wanted to hit most of the fairways or make most of their putts.  I’ve never heard of a musician saying they hope to play at least 90% of their notes correctly.  They all want perfection.  And, sometimes they achieve it.  Plenty of baseball players have hit 4 for 4 in a game.  Plenty of golfers have shot below par.  Plenty of musicians have played perfectly in a concert.  They did it because that is what they shot for.  Not to simply do their best but to achieve perfection.

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I have to ask, will I simply try not to make too many mistakes today or will I try to achieve perfection today?

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Grace and peace to you.
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Matthew 5:48 – Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Grace and peace to you.

I’m headed to the Ranger game tomorrow night.  I think Cliff Lee is supposed to be on the bump and I’m hoping for a great performance and some run support. 

I’ll be wearing the same thing I’ve worn to the last 13 games – all wins for the Rangers.  They really should hook me up with a suite.  I’ve bought in to the baseball superstitions but it’s all in good fun.

I can wear the same thing when the Longhorns play and they lose to UCLA.  Drives me crazy.

I told someone the other day I’m going all Purple Reign/Rain from here on out.  I’m cheering for:
TCU
ACU
Prince (it’s a long story)

I caught a bit of a video about an abortion survivor on Facebook today.  I’m going to try and remember to check it out and learn more about the young lady and might post it here.  Assuming it’s all legit – WOW! – a powerful story.

Francis Chan is becoming one of my favorite people.  I don’t know the man but he’s not afraid to call Christians out to a higher standard than what I typically see and live myself.  I get to hear him speak next week and I’m getting jazzed about that. 

I’ve got a lot of friends in pain right now.  Some of the stories are known, some are not.  If you are looking for something to pray for today, just lift my friends up to God.  He’ll know what you are talking about and I hope it will bring a little more peace to their lives.

Grace and peace to you.

The title is from a song and comedy bit on Hee-Haw that aired on TV back when dirt was being invented.  Rick made reference to it on Sunday and it’s been on my mind since.  I spent Sunday nigh talking to a friend who is going through the emotions from the song title and spend a fair amount of my free time talking to others who know pain, despair and agony all too well.  It’s all around us.  Marriages on the rocks.  Death of a loved one.  Kids who are out of control.  A spouse who has been unemployed for too long.  A loved one going to prison. 

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And Christians are supposed to be a people of joy?  For real?

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I suppose that depends on my perspective.  Friends have asked me how I am doing and my response is generally the same.  If I want to look around and see darkness, I will see it.  If I want to look around and see light, I will see it.  It’s up to me on what I choose to focus on.  When I choose to focus on pain, I can find it in abundance with plenty to spare.  There are so many things that have gone wrong in my life and I dare say it could be that I’ve had more bad than good.  I think that’s just life.  But, if I choose to focus on the good, on the people who continuously share acts of kindness with me, people who are praying for me, people who have a smile or a hug, a text or phone call just to check in, I can find it.  Then I top it off with a decision. 

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I was a basketball player growing up.  I loved it.  LOVED it.  I spent more time in my driveway than anywhere else shooting basket after basket for years.  I dreamed of making the last second shot for the Texas Longhorns to win the national championship.  I played all the time – even when the high school varsity coach told me I wouldn’t play on his team – I kept playing and made the team and even a starting spot before illness took me out for the year.  I went to practice after practice.  I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and…you get the idea.  I went through weeks of pain leading up to the season practicing over and over and it was often painful.  Yet I went through the pain for the opportunity to play for less than an hour per game because I found joy in playing the game.  The pain was worth it.

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I have to decide if the pain of this life is worth the joy of what comes in the next.  I can give up and give in to the pain here and now or I can run the race, endure the pain and stay focused on what God has planned.  It’s my choice.  Pain, despair and agony on me.  Maybe so but I refuse to wallow in it.  I will walk to the light.

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Grace and peace to you.
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1 Peter 5:9 – 11 (NIV)
⁹Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
 ¹⁰And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. ¹¹To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Today is a hard day, a day where my suffering is more acute, more pronounced than just another day.  At the same time, it is a very good day, a day where my suffering brings me closer to God, more in touch with Him being Lord in my life.  For that reason, I accept my suffering, even rejoice that my life has taken a turn that has brought this pain because it has brought me into communion with God in ways I have never experienced in my life.  The pain has forced me to examine my life, to examine my mind and to examine my heart and I have learned that for most of my days, I didn’t know God intimately.  Today, I am experiencing a new level of intimacy with God and today I stand in my suffering knowing it is what has brought me to a place where I bow low before the feet of God and rejoice that He is the all-knowing God, He is loving and His mercy knows no bounds.

Today, a hard day in my life, I accept that while I might suffer for a season, God will restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast.  It is a day where I accept the pain and rejoice in what God will do with it.

Grace and peace to you.

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Better late than never?  Not always.

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I had this question posed to me the other day.  “Do we have to have a Damascus Road experience to really learn about forgiveness?”  I don’t know but the people who I trust to have the best understanding of forgiveness have all traveled that road.  It worked out pretty well for Paul and I have found it to be most effective in my life.

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There’s much more to be said about that but I’ve only had a quarter cup of coffee this morning.

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One of the renewing parts of suffering is when I see God at work allowing me to help someone else who is suffering, it brings an inner peace that a) helps my healing process and b) shows me that I’m on a journey where God wants to use me.  One of my prayers has been that God wouldn’t let me suffer without using what I have learned to help someone else.  Prayer is being answered.  Glory to God.

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Grace and peace to you.
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The way to render a man happy, is to engage him with an object that will make him forget his private troubles. – Pascal

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This blog is similar to others I have written but remains something I’m still wrestling with.  I know I’m one of many who is dealing with some pain, some trouble, some obstacle that is mentally, emotionally and spiritually draining.  I, like others, have used different objects to help me forget my pain, my troubles as does the world.  I know the easy targets are alcohol, drugs and sex but there are others, things we get involved in to keep us busy and to take our mind off our pain; reading, movies, cooking, restoration projects, work and, yes, even church activities.  I, like so many, grew up hearing the adage “idol hands are the devil’s workshop.”  Well, I think busy hands are used by the devil just as much so that our heart and mind are to engaged to focus on God.

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My struggle today is hearing God because I am spending so much time filling my days and nights with something to do so my pain is numbed and I don’t have to face it.  I’ve got something going on all the time and even as I struggle sleeping, I just find more to do to fill the time so I don’t just stop and take time to let God heal me and take away the pain, the burden I am choosing to carry.

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Not, “get busy” or “work your fingers to the bone” but BE STILL.

Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

God then goes on to tell Moses to tell the Israelites to move on.  Move on.

What does it take to move on from our pain?  Does it take replacing it with something that will make us happy?  What if what God told Moses applies to me?  Be still, let it go, let God fight the fight…and move on.

Moving on from my pain isn’t easy.  It’s mine to hold on to.  It’s mine to wrestle with, to hold up as my barrier to peace, it’s what I know.  I don’t know what happens when I move on, when I let it go, when I let God take on the battle and I resign from it.  I don’t know what might happen and there is some fear there because now, I can wallow in something I know even though it hurts.  It’s time to move on and I’m working on it – because I want to know His peace in all areas of my life.

Grace and peace to you.

 
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