I think I’m finally sleeping better but still not enough.

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I’m tired of the Palin’s being in the news.  Not a fan of mom or daughter getting much attention.

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Cuban might buy the Rangers?  Tell me it isn’t so.  I think he loves owning the team but he hasn’t brought a championship to Dallas yet.  Let the baseball guys buy the baseball team.  Please.

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I’m tired of LeBron and I hope Miami wins 1 game this year.  I enjoyed watching him play but doubt I will see any more of him than what is forced on me through ESPN highlights.  I like Jordan and Magic’s thoughts.  Both said “I wanted to beat Bird/Jordan/Magic, not play with them.”  That’s a competitor spirit.

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Electronics not working used to never bother me.  Now I just want to throw them out and get something else.  I’ve lost patience for these devices not working when they are all supposed to be better. 

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I’m still thankful for good friends. 

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I love the Psalms.  They are filled with heartfelt visits with God, many of the same heartfelt talks I have had with Him. 

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Grace and peace to you.
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Last week I kept thinking it was later in the week than it was.  Today I find it hard to believe it’s only Tuesday.  Go figure.

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I heard a spot on the news this morning about the Muslim Center they are wanting to build near Ground Zero in New York.  Now, I must say some of the people opposing the center have gone over the imaginary line of good conduct but doesn’t anyone in the Muslim community understand the sensitivity of this issue?  It seems if they were really wanting to promote peace, they would get out and do something positive for the New York community instead of building their own fun center/prayer mosque. 

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I am very thankful for good friends.  It’s hard to imagine where I would be right now without some people who are praying for me and willing to help me in different ways.

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My daughter takes incredible pictures.  Photography isn’t something she is aspiring to do as a profession but she has a great eye for a good picture.  I may steal one from her one day and post it here.

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Kids are an incredible blessing.  I’ve got friends who are struggling today from the loss of a child and I am praying that God will give them healing and peace.  I don’t get to be around my kids as much as I want to and it is not an easy thing to cope with emotionally.  I am thankful for every moment I have with them and pray each day that God will fill them up with all He knows they need to be strong in Him.

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God is good.

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Grace and peace to you.
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To see the light, I need to look for the light. 

In my darkest days, it is easy to leave my thoughts on the darkness that seems to overwhelm me.  It is easy to get caught up in questions and accusations and emotions.  I find myself questioning God and wondering why He isn’t using His power the way I want Him to, asking if He has forgotten me, wondering what I’ve done that is so bad God won’t reach down and help me.  Yet all I have to do is take my eyes off of myself for an instant and I see the light of God shining all around me.  It’s there, I just have to be willing to open my eyes and look for it.  I see the brightness of God shining in the people who are praying for me and who are helping me in ways big and small.  I see it in the words of love spoken to me and in invitations to share a meal. 

I want my heart to be attuned to God.  I want it to be easy to see the light and have the darkness blocked from my sight.  I want to rejoice in the warmth of God’s light, I want to worship in the warmth of God’s light, I want to take each step and breathe each breath in the warmth of God’s light.  It is there.  He is there.

Grace and peace to you.

⁴³When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” ⁴⁴The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
      Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

Yesterday, a very dear friend reminded me of this story in Luke 11.  He told me how many of us go through a death of some sort while we are still alive; we lose something, a child, a spouse, something truly important and the loss is like a death.  As Jesus pulls us back into life from that death, as we begin to walk a little straighter, as our minds begin to untangle what happened and begins to focus on today, Jesus tells us to take the grave clothes off because we have come back from the dead.

I’m not doing an adequate job explaining it the way my friend did but it was a poignant moment in my day when we talked because it hit me again, in just the right way, that Jesus is waiting for me and is preparing my way so that I can remove the grave clothes and enter into a new life, a different life for sure but life.  I don’t forget the death or what was lost but I learn to life in a new way and I know Jesus is there. 

As I reread the story, I remembered it included the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept.”  Right then, when I read those words, I knew they were for me.  I know Jesus has cried for me.  I know Jesus has hurt for me and has shed tears for me, and I know he’s waiting on the other side of this walk, ready for me to take the grave clothes off and to begin to live again. 

For me, it was a beautiful story delivered at just the right time.  Even more, it was a beautiful story reminding me of who is right in front of me, waiting, arms open, ready to lead me into new paths and new life.  I haven’t stepped out far enough to meet Him yet but I know He is there.  Praise God.

Grace and peace to you.
 
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I’ve never been a big fan of rollercoasters but have ridden several and might ride more in the future if I can get my legs in the cart.  Several years ago, I was riding the Shockwave at Six Flags.  There isn’t much legroom so my knees were jammed against the front wall with my feet dangling above the floor.  As we went through the first upside-down loop, I got a cramp in my hamstring and because of the force couldn’t do anything but scream.  The girl sitting next to me starting saying, “don’t be scared, it will be over soon.”  Fortunately, she was a stranger so I didn’t have to hear stories of me screaming on the roller coaster but that is the one incident that makes me hesitant to willingly get on a roller coaster.  Yet, that is where I find myself right now, on an emotional rollercoaster.  Emotions come and go and I can’t predict which one is next.  I described it to a friend as riding a rollercoaster in the dark because I don’t know if I’m about to go up or go down. 

I can tell you that I’m no fan of this emotional ride.  Maybe there is benefit in some of it but I’m tired and just want to “be” for awhile.  As I’m learning, what I want isn’t all that important to the rest of the physical or spiritual worlds.  I rationalize my down times by reminding myself that I have close friends who have been in much worse situations than my own yet my situation is the worst one I have experienced.  Thankfully, I can gain insight from them and from their experiences where our paths are parallel.  The other fear is that I don’t know how long this ride will last.  At least on a real rollercoaster, you can see the end.  Not so with the emotional ride. 

Today, I will just do my best to put one foot in front of the other and trust in the Lord to make things right.  He certainly is acting on my timetable so I will also ask him for an extra dose of patience while I learn to wait on him, to be still knowing that He will fight for me against the spiritual forces that want to tear me down.  My fight is not against flesh and blood but the powers of darkness.  In that realm, I nothing more than a 90 pound weakling but I have faith that God is mighty, that He can part the Red Seas and calm the storms of my life if I will simply wait on Him.

Grace and peace to you.

Several people have started a new petition for Decatur to be able to sell more alcohol.  I’m not even sure what it’s for but I think it’s to allow liquor stores into the city.  What a wonderful addition.  I remember when the first election came up, it was all about being able to bring a big-name grocery store to town and extra tax dollars to fix our roads.  How did that work out?  We still have Wal-Mart and IGA and some very bumpy roads.  My former yard did see an increase in the number of empty beer cans/bottles but that may have more to do with a changing demographic than alcohol sales themselves.  Anyway, I just wish the people pushing these things would be honest and say it is simply for convenience, nothing more, nothing less.  Do not misunderstand me, I’m not condemning the use of alcohol in a safe and responsible way, only the reasoning that is often employed to justify the decision. 

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The weekend is almost here and it is one I dread because of tasks that are before me.  It will be a hard weekend and if you are in a praying mood, please pray for me to keep my head up and moving forward seeing what God has in front of me and for thanksgiving for the people who are helping me. 

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I stood in line for 2 hours last night with a friend waiting for his new iPhone.  People will stand in line a long time for these things but don’t want to spend more than an hour in church where they can find something much more valuable and useful for all eternity instead of something good until the next version comes out.  What’s wrong with us humans?  The good part was that I was with a friend I love and respect and I didn’t mind waiting it out and having a good time and good discussion over dinner. 

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God is love.  I hope people will see God living in me this weekend and in the days to come.

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Grace and peace to you.
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It’s been awhile since I could sit down and read a book.  Too much going through my muddled mind but I finally finished one while on vacation and have started The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel.  I got through Chapter 2 last night dealing with our shame.  I didn’t understand what shame did to us, how it worked in the deepest parts of who we are, until I started opening up and talking about it with some professional listeners.  Shame is a tool of evil that is used to put us in our place, to remind us we are not worthy of God’s love and that He can’t really want a child like us, one who does bad things.  Yet, the Bible is filled with stories of people who did shameful things and were reconciled with God.  Peter may be one of my favorites.  Jesus tells Peter that he will deny Jesus three times and Peter responds with (I’m paraphrasing a bit) “nope, not me, never.”  And then, guess what?  Peter denies Jesus three times and then feels the grief of his actions.  So what does Jesus do?  He tells Peter to go and feed the flock, to proclaim the good news.  Now, I would be inclined to go proclaim the good news quietly, still ashamed of my actions but Peter uses Pentecost for his pulpit.  Do I think Peter still wishes he hadn’t denied Jesus?  You bet.  Did Peter let his shame continue to hold him back?  No. 

I hope more and more Christians will learn to deal with their shame and guilt, to get it out and feel the forgiveness that God showers on us so that they may move forward with God and not be stuck in the past.

Grace and peace to you.

LeBron is going to South Beach.  Aren’t we all better off knowing that big piece of information?  I don’t know what to think about the big ESPN special for his announcement.

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It might rain.  I should be a meteorologist.  And how can the Rangers lose to Baltimore?

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Every good bit of news is followed by something negative lately.  I don’t get it.  I wonder if it is a test and, if it is, wonder if it’s a test from God or from the evil one. 

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My daughter has made the decision to be baptized.  I am so proud of her and full of joy for her decision to put on Christ.  I love the imagery of baptism I find in Romans 6:1-8 – ¹What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ²By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? ³Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
 ⁵If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. ⁶For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with,^[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin— ⁷because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
 ⁸Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.

I grew up in an environment that taught baptism is essential to salvation.  I read Romans 6 and come away believing that baptism is essential to be united with Christ, not something that gives us a reward but something that gives us a daily direction and challenge – to be like Christ because we have now been united with him through baptism.

I’m sure I don’t do a good job describing how incredibly important I find the process of baptism to be in starting us on a journey with Jesus but I’m eternally thankful that I can be intimately united with him through baptism. 

I’m off for another blogging holiday as I try to catch loads of trout over the next week.  Yea!

Grace and peace to you.
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Last night was another fun night of making things go boom.  I love the artillery shells. 

I have noticed so many signs proclaiming “freedom is not free” leading up to the 4th and have contemplated on how true that statement rings.  I know it is primarily intended to remind us of our fighting forces that protect this country but it relates the same to the fighting forces that are working to protect our hearts.  Freedom comes from the cross and it was not free.  Freedom comes from denying ourselves but it doesn’t come easy.  Freedom comes from confession but it is not without pain.  Freedom is not free.

I look forward to the day when we can recall our troops from harms way while wondering if that day will ever come again.  While I want to envision peace and prosperity for our nation and for the world, I can’t help but look around and wonder if we have entered a time when fighting and the desire of nations won’t only continue but will escalate.

I’m so thankful my life doesn’t simply consist of what happens in this world.  As much as I enjoy people and things that are here, I know that the true reward, the ultimate glory comes in a world after this one.

Baseball and more baseball this week while dodging the rain.

The Lord is my shepherd…

Grace and peace to you.

It’s easy for me to live in fear, to live scared.  Fear of the unknown and scared of what my imagination conjures up.  When I’m living in fear, my mind is constantly engaged trying to figure the way out.  There is no stillness, no peace.

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Isaiah gives us this in chapter 43, verses 1-2:
But now, this is what the LORD says—
       he who created you, O Jacob,
       he who formed you, O Israel:
       “Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
       I have summoned you by name; you are mine*. 
When you pass through the waters,
       I will be with you;
       and when you pass through the rivers,
       they will not sweep over you.
       When you walk through the fire,
       you will not be burned;
       the flames will not set you ablaze. 

*(emphasis mine)
If I can only remember that God is with me; with me through the waters and through the fire.  God is with me.

Grace and peace to you.

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