Today is my mom’s 75th birthday. I know you aren’t supposed to tell a woman’s age but 75 is kind of special. I remember a few years ago when I thought 45 was “getting up there” but now that I’m almost up there, I have changed my point of view.

Mom, I love you and hope you have a great birthday!
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I was in Bridgeport yesterday afternoon for my daughter’s first track meet. She was running the 800m and I was laughing with a friend about how the race was considered a sprint in some regards but to us, it just seemed like a heart attack waiting to happen. My girl did well and I’m really proud of her.
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I’m always a little surprised anyone is out there reading my babblings other than Rick (thanks for sticking with me Rick!) but I sincerely appreciate the comments some of you made about the blog while I take some time off. It’s encouraging to know that some of the things I write are compelling enough that you come back. My hope is to keep going deeper in my relationship with God and hopefully encourage you to do the same. I realize we are all in different places at different times in our spiritual journey and I feel like my walk with God is so very new in so many ways. He is ripping away layers of self-reliance that I have tried to build around me and filling that space with His goodness. The process is not easy, even painful, but so rewarding.

I’ll be back next week with my new word for the week – grappling. Thanks again for your comments and encouraging words.

God is so good.

It’s getting tough to get my thoughts on “paper” lately so I think I’m going to take a writing holiday. There are a few of you who stop by regularly so I wanted to let you know that my aim is to take the week off and see what happens. If something really big hits me, I might blog but I’m hoping to let some things sort themselves out in my head and then try again.

I’ll leave you with this for now:

Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I’m still thinking about being made in God’s image. I think one of the struggles I have is that I think of image as an external function (how I appear to other people) but being made in God’s image in an internal function – it’s about where our heart is. Our decisions are often affected by external factors but our decision or response in how we act is an internal decision.

Maybe it would be a good thing if we could roll our eyes backwards and have them look inside of ourselves instead of only seeing outside. What if we could look at the condition of our heart in a spiritual sense on a regular basis and see what God sees? I suppose the danger would be that I would, once again, think I was in control and lack the submissiveness that I need to have.

I want to live in the image of God. It’s a battle because there are forces that want to prevent that but it’s my desire and prayer to let the Spirit guide me in the fight as I live closer to my Lord.

Our youth class started a new study last night about different ways we build a relationship with Jesus and what we sometimes leave out because it doesn’t suit us or fit our image. Sometimes we see Jesus as the Savior but nothing more, sometimes we see Jesus as the one who is supposed to bring good things to our lives but nothing more, we see Jesus as the grace-giving Jesus but nothing more.

As we talked last night, the thought kept rolling through my mind that we are told in Genesis 9 that we are made in God’s image. Think about that for a minute. We are made in His image.

I have spent a lot of years trying to see God in my image. Well, He must not be a very loving God because He let this bad thing happen to me. Well, He will forgive me for doing something to someone who hurt me. Well, He won’t mind if I do this because it doesn’t hurt anyone else.

He made us in His image. Why, oh why, do we move so easily from being in His image to an image of what we think is good and best. How long do we spend picking out clothes, worrying out our hair (or lack thereof), the vehicles we drive, the houses we live in? For a big majority of us, we spend a good bit of time thinking about our image.

We are made in God’s image. Why mess with that?

A-Rod met the press yesterday to come clean on his steroid usage. Today the radio is filled with questions of whether he’s still telling the truth or not. My question is, what difference does it make? He’s already received all the punishment he’s going to get so why does everyone want to keep poking at him? Is there more to be gained knowing he used for 7 months instead of 6 or if he knew exactly what his cousin was giving him or not?

I agree that A-Rod is doing a good thing by telling his story and, at some point, everyone will have to accept what he says and move on. If he’s holding information back, it is something that will eat at him much longer than the rest of us. In general, we have become a society of people wanting to hear the dirt on someone so we can talk about them instead of working on ourselves? Don’t believe me? What’s People and National Enquirer and so many other grocery store fillers about? They tell us about other people’s lives and what’s going on with them. There are multiple TV shows and web sites that do the same thing – fill us in on the dirt so we have something to talk about.

I’m guilty. I called A-Rod “A-Fraud” on my blog just a few days ago. He makes LOTS of money and made a mistake that tarnishes a game I’m growing to enjoy and that gives me the right to call him names? No doubt baseball needs to decide what it will do about records set during the steroid period but using steroids are mistakes made by people who simply need to come clean with themselves first. They can’t undo what has been done and we can’t go on forever talking bad about Bonds, McGuire, A-Rod and the gang and we don’t need to. Baseball isn’t the be-all and end-all. It’s a game. It’s not life-and-death, heaven-or-hell and every minute we are focused on that gives us less time to focus on something that is everything.

You’ve heard this from me before and I feel certain you will hear it more; there are forces of evil all around us and their one and only goal is to take our focus away from God, Christ and the promise that awaits us and I believe with all my heart that satan will use any and every situation he can to do that. Is satan using this situation with baseball? I don’t know for sure but I do know this – when it causes me to call someone names or talk bad about someone I don’t even know, it’s certainly not something that is helping me on my path to Heaven.

Watch out for what satan does to trip you up. He’s had my number and isn’t going to stop going after me anytime soon and I would imagine you might have experienced similar treatment.

God loves me and He loves you. Philipians 4:8.

You know the good days have passed you by when one of your teammates comes on the court to replace you says “take a break old man.” We played Victory Family Church last night and I wish we could play these guys every week. We pulled out a 50-49 win last night but every game with them is a good one. They play with great sportsmanship and with a fun attitude. As for the old man hoops, I think I’m the oldest player on the court and certainly can’t run and jump with most of the guys I’m playing so it’s up to my wily basketball skills to get position for rebounds and set lots of screens for my teammates. It’s still fun for me to just be on the court and I went 2 for 4 last night.

Texas got beat by A&M. I’m not sure what’s going on with the Longhorns this year but it’s not good. Not good at all.

I’m betting on UConn and North Carolina to face off in the finals. I think North Carolina has more guns but the big guy for UConn is crazy to watch. He may be averaging 100 blocks a game.

I heard it’s Michael Jordan’s birthday. I remember making sure I was home in time to see Chicago Bulls games not long ago just to see Jordan do something magical on the court.
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I was reminded of a quote by St. Francis of Assisi yesterday. “Preach the gospel at all times and, when necessary, use words.”

Amen.

It’s Monday and I really don’t have much to say…or much I can put into intelligible thoughts.

The NBA All-Star weekend just passed and I saw none of it. I didn’t even realize it was going on until last Thursday or Friday. The slam dunk contest is filled with a bunch of no-name guys unless you are a basketball junkie. Where’s Kobe and LeBron? The dunk contest used to be Michael and Dominique – top flight guys in the NBA.

The good news is that we are in the midst of college conference games and March Madness is just a few weeks away. I haven’t been able to watch as much college basketball as I’d like this year but the good games are heating up and I hope to see more in the coming weeks. I’m not sure who can stop North Carolina this year.

Is anyone following the stimulus bill? Has anyone explained how we are going to have to pay for it? Does anyone have any faith that it will actually help? It sounds to me like someone is just digging a deeper hole for us to fall into. Either that or the children of my children will be paying for it so we can put off the pain.

Have you ever noticed how people turn to God during tougher times? A country in crisis – fighting wars on foreign soil, in economic turmoil, slipping morality. I’m just thinking where so many people see fear, God is seeing opportunity.

It may not be the best title for a blog but as pitchers and catchers get ready to report to Spring Training, the excitement of baseball starts to build for me. Last year is done and over with, the good and the bad. Josh Hamilton’s homeruns and RBI’s, Kinsler’s MVP start before surgery and a great finish were all things I enjoyed about last year. Up and down pitching, Kinsler’s surgery and the start of the season are all things I am glad are in the past. In just over 24 hours as I’m writing this, pitchers and catchers go to Arizona to start working on this year, a new year, a new start.

I was thinking last night about all the Spring Trainings God has given me. An opportunity to start over, fresh, no mistakes, a new beginning. I am so thankful that while the good and bad are a part of my history, with God I can start a new chapter, write a new history and, best of all, He is only interested in my current story – not the story of my past.

I love Spring Training and hope to make a trip to Arizona one of these days to see the new beginning of a new season. I think that would be way cool, like some people want to play Pebble Beach or go to the Daytona 500. I hope I get that opportunity but I cherish the knowledge that I can begin anew with my God, my Creator and Savior, when I need to and I don’t have to wait for Him to wash me in His mercy and grace. It’s an incredible feeling to know I am that loved by the One who can do all things. Hallelujah and hallelujah.

The big baseball news this weekend was all about A-Rod and the rumor that he tested positive for steroids in 2003 while a member of the Texas Rangers. All I can say is…sad. I’m not a big A-Rod fan but hoped he would be the guy to break Bonds record and restore some integrity to the record book but it appears that won’t be the case. Steroids have obviously run rampant in baseball and the sad truth is some innocent, hard working players are going to be labeled unfairly because of the number and names of people using steroids.

While we point our fingers at the users, and they are the ones ultimately guilty, we need to point our fingers at the whole of baseball from the commissioner on down. There is no way the owners and trainers didn’t know, there’s no way that the players association didn’t know and none of them wanted to do anything about it.

Another example of sowing what you reap. The baseball establishment wanted the excitement that was being generated and now they pay the price for it. Good or bad, about all the suffer is a little embarrassment and a lot of hot air debating what to do with the records of this era.

Another star down. Who’s next?

Do you know what God wants from you? What your “calling” is? What He expects you to be doing today?

As I continue a fascinating journey with God, one filled at times with incredible insights into who He is and one filled at times with an absolute loss of what He sees for me, I have come to experience emotions towards God that I didn’t know existed and probably even resisted at times. I have experienced peace and grace that was palpable; something I believe I could literally feel flowing over me. I have had moments of joy that are exhilarating, breathtaking, indescribable.

Through each step of the journey, I continue to ask where God wants me to be. Does He want me to be an accountant accounting for things that need to be accounted for? Does He want me to be a coach or a teacher? Does He want me to be a lawyer? Does He want me working the streets helping the homeless? Does He want all those things?

I don’t know. At different times I feel pulled to do different things and I wonder, “is that what God is calling me to?” My biggest problem I face with God on a daily basis is not having an agenda, a roadmap of what His plans are for my life. I am learning to wait but, at times, the waiting exhausts me and causes my mind to wander off. It affects my prayers, the intensity and frequency. It affects my outlook towards how I deal with things in my life.

I know God is here. I know He works through all the things that I get frustrated with as well as the things that lift me up. I know He is here, He loves me and He will guide me where He wants me to go if I just have faith and wait to hear Him.

I’m waiting Lord. Use me.