I get an email each week from a Christian leadership journal and this week’s topic is faith. Faith is something I wrestle with constantly and quite frankly, I just get tired at times. It’s not that I ever lose all faith; I don’t because I firmly believe in God and His sovereignty but my faith wavers. I wonder if He hears my pleas and if He is working where I feel like I need so much help. It’s also those times that I wonder if He has something completely different planned for me than what I’m thinking and that is where the wavering comes in. At times it is hard for me to accept that my desires and ideas (or as our preacher said it yesterday, “my instructions”) are not what God wants for me.

My battle with faith comes down to my way or God’s way and what I am willing to accept. Will I accept what He provides me with joy or will I cling to what I think is best? Will I continue to question whether He hears my pleas or trust that He is working in me in ways I do not understand? Will I continue to praise Him in the storms or just in the sunshine of life?

I waver at times but even in these times, I am working on increasing my faith, giving God more glory because He is sovereign. My hope is that my faith will increase and my wavering will die and that I will learn to lean on God and wait on God – to stop giving him my instructions and begin to listen for His voice.

This is the second edit of my blog today. The first went on and on and I decided not to post it until I could be a little less wordy. So, until I can better think through it I’ll just make some rambling comments for today.

Hurricane Ike. It doesn’t sound like it’s going to be a big deal here but I hope my parents have their umbrellas out.

Sarah Palin. Is she really the key to McCain winning the Presidency? I heard snippets of her first interview last night and it was a little rough. Maybe she is like us.

9/11. I remember David walking in and telling me a plane had flown into one of the towers. It didn’t really hit me how serious it was going to be until I turned on the TV and saw the second plane fly into the other tower.

Decatur Eagles. My wonder-girl runs again tomorrow and my son has his first meet tomorrow. Go kiddos! Naturally, they run in different places so we are criss-crossing the Metroplex.

Cowboys vs. Eagles. It’s the big-time Monday night game. TO and McNabb are babbling about each other so it should be a fun game. I’ll be amazed if I make it through halftime though.

That’s it for today. Oh, the Decatur Eagles football team has their first home game tonight. Go Eagles!

I hope your weekend is filled with peace from God.

Last night our class discussion was about why we are too often stuck in the middle – stuck between hot and cold finding ourselves just lukewarm. The middle of what you ask? In the middle between good and evil, Heaven and hell, God and satan. What would lead us to the middle, committing to neither but bouncing back and forth?

I’ve been there and I don’t want to go there again. There are times I feel like I have glimpsed the edges of hell and I don’t want to experience that again but I still find myself at times sliding to the middle – thinking things I shouldn’t think, saying things I should say – stepping away from the love and grace and care of a God who loves me unconditionally. Why does He allow me to slip to the middle? Why doesn’t he jerk me back to safety? Why doesn’t He just eliminate the evil around me?

The beauty of our God is seen in his willingness to let us decide for ourselves what we want but to always have his arms extended and open; whether we seek Him first or whether we are returning from our turn in the pig sty.

I thank God for His love and His mercy, for His constant desire to be in my presence and allow me to be in His. I am the prodigal son, I have squandered so much of my time and riches He has given me but He welcomes me back, gives me a robe and sandals and a ring and prepares a feast for me. He is loving and compassionate, caring and giving. He is the Lord.

Yesterday I wrote about a leader that is out front and in public. That’s how we typically see leadership – people who are seen – yet so often leaders are working in the background exemplifying servant-likeness quietly.

We hosted our youth group over the weekend and my wife did a great job of preparing everything needed to have them at our house. Yesterday I saw it again in the people behind the scenes preparing for the young men and women at the FCA breakfast.

Servant leaders aren’t always vocal, aren’t always out front but they provide example and leadership in their service. Where would we be without them?
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Sarah Palin sure seems to have shaken up the political machinery and Obama seems to be spending a lot of time focusing on her. Isn’t she the VP candidate? I don’t know what all the VP does as long as the President is alive but they don’t seem to have much impact on the direction of our country. I wonder if Obama’s strategy of going after her will help him.

I am still getting crazy emails about Obama and other things politics. I love email and I hate email.

The Decatur Eagles 7th grade team won their first game yesterday. Props to my nephew. He was playing linebacker and spent some time at QB too. Another of our good friends played QB and blazed his way to a touchdown too. (Sorry for not giving glowing accolades but I typically don’t use names of children on my blog – but you know who you are…I hope.)

Isn’t the rain wonderful?

This morning I went to the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) breakfast for 7th & 8th graders and heard Kyle Story, the DISD Athletic Director and football head coach, speak to the group of young men and women. Wow! Kyle spoke a message to these kids about hard work and doing their best – first in the relationship with God, second in their relationship with family and third was everything else. He used Paul as an example of someone who gave his best and encouraged the kids to learn about Paul and follow his example.

As a parent, it’s exciting for me to know that my children are being led by men and women who live and teach these values to our kids and that work and live themselves with these values. I am so thankful for Kyle Story and his dedication to God, to his family and to the people he leads on a daily basis. Decatur is blessed to have Kyle and his family as part of our community and our school.

We hosted our youth group after church last night. Some 40 or so kids showed up to have a devo, eat and fellowship. It’s amazing to see our group of kids together and see them bringing friends to their activities. My wife did a great job putting on a feast for them. It was heart-lifting for me to be a part of last night.
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It’s amazing how God takes care of us when we turn to Him. I have been calling on God to help me in a situation and wondering if He is hearing my pleas because I have not seen the result “I” wanted. While I was preparing for class over the weekend, part of the lesson plan included the scripture about having faith the size of a mustard seed and what God can do with that faith. It was a timely reminder that I just need to keep trusting God – that His timing may not be the same as mine but faith in Him will be rewarded.

I was teaching our middle school kids Sunday morning and surprised by their willingness to answer questions and some of the questions they asked. They asked some things that made me think about God’s purpose for me and a reminder for me to trust in Him.

It’s amazing how God uses so many people around us – of all ages, faiths and beliefs – to help us know Him better.

At the moment, I am sitting in the Denver airport waiting on my delayed flight and looking at the Rocky Mountains. They are beautiful and I appreciate the time I have to sit and just take in their magnificence. I’m caught with the thoughts of mountains and valleys and how there are times we are on top of those mountains and other times when we are at the lowest point, looking up and wondering how we will ever get back to the top.

In the past, I have experienced those highs and lows and when I was at my lowest, I spent a lot of time and energy figuring out what I would do to start crawling back to the top. As I worked my way up and slid back down again, I learned the futility of not ascending the mountain with a guide – someone who knew the way and knew how to get me to the top. Over the past few years, I have learned to turn my journey over to a guide, to be led towards the top of the mountain. It doesn’t may the path hasn’t been steep or rocky or hard to climb. At times, I’ve lost sight of the guide and found myself sliding back down the mountain as I tried to navigate my own path.

Today I am more focused than ever on relying on my guide, God, to lead me. I am convinced my way will only lead to a long and painful tumble down the mountain but that God will help direct me, even pull me at times, up the mountain. Even better, letting God guide me will get me to the top of the mountain with the most majestic view – not always the mountain I was climbing.

I know I am still going to encounter some rough patches getting up the mountain. There will be pain in the climbing but I am ready to endure what I need to endure to get to the place that God wants to show me.

I’m laboring on Labor Day because retail never sleeps. I’ll make sure and sneak out a little early today though – I hope.

Gustav is coming ashore. I feel so bad for the people who are affected by this weather. I’m praying today that God will take care of them with what they need.

I’m tired of all the Barack-bashing email. Folks, he’s not my candidate but John McCain ain’t Superman either. I disagree with most of Obama’s stances but respect the fact that he has the guts to run for President. I get the feeling most Americans would rather complain than step up. The latest bashing email says Obama only has 143 days of experience but it’s coming from people who plan to vote with absolutely NO experience. What qualifies them to vote? McCain has been in government for years and how has that improved my life? I enjoy politics for the psychology of it all but have no faith in our government to do much for us.

Speaking of the psychology of politics, how about McCain’s VP pick? This will be really interesting (especially with all of her national experience!) to see how people respond to this choice.

My daughter ran her first high school cross country race on Saturday and set a PR (that’s personal record in high-school speak) for herself. It was a warm, humid day running a pretty hilly course. I chased her around as much as I could and it is amazing to see the difference in her running and her will to compete since last year. I am so proud of her because she is accomplishing something that is hard and requires a lot out of her. It speaks volumes about the girl she is and the woman she will become. I love her and am thankful she encourages me.

I got a primetime speaking slot last night. Jacob is out of town and asked me to teach the youth class. It’s the Wednesday after school starts so most everyone is back and we had somewhere over 40 in class last night. Way cool. I love these guys because I look at them and see hope. I hear prayer requests like “pray that our youth group will reach out to be at school” and I look around to see several visitors that our kids bring with them. I have high hopes for what these young people are doing today and will do in the future for the kingdom. They encourage me. They lift me up and push me forward in my walk. They challenge me in many ways. I am thankful for my time with them. I hope God is using me to help them but I know, I feel it, that he is using them to help me.
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Put Bill Clinton in front of a camera and he is just good. I heard most of his speech last night and the guy is talented. He was better than the VP-elect but I guess they couldn’t let Bill upstage him. If I was inclined to vote for Obama, I think Bill would have sealed the deal last night. I didn’t care for him as a President and I don’t think he really engineered all he takes credit for but the guy can speak in front of a crowd.
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The news hit last night that McCain has picked his running mate. I’ve heard pro-life and pro-choice candidates, men and women, Republicans and Democrats. I wonder who it will be.

The thing that makes me feel bad for our country is that I don’t think the running mates of either nominee make much of a difference and I don’t think things will change much (other than tax rates) whichever candidate is elected. The world didn’t come to an end with Clinton was President even though that’s what we were told and all things considered, things haven’t been so great with Bush in office.

I think there is room for a lot of social changes and tax changes and health care changes. Universal health care scares me but I’m also tired of paying 5-figures for health care and medicines every year. I’m highly interested in the election but in the end I don’t think either candidate is going to have much impact on my life. Do you?

We’re in Day 2 of school which is hard to believe. College football kicks off this weekend and the Friday night lights for high school football cranks up in the next week or so. The Rangers have folded up again though they did finally win one against Kansas City last night. The Cowboys are the talk for most people around town. Yep, summer is about over and fall is on the way. Here’s to hoping it brings cool days and crisp nights and plenty of wins for our teams.

I mention football only because it is the biggest sport of fall but our high school volleyball teams have already played a number of games and our cross country team kicks it off this weekend.
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Did anyone watch the Democratic convention last night? I caught Michelle Obama’s speech and Barak’s interaction with her afterward. I was struck by how many “holes” there seemed to be in their talking giving me the feeling they are much more nervous and not quite as cool as their handlers would hope for. Ms. Obama had several pauses in her speech in mid-sentence and when Barak appeared on the screen, he couldn’t remember if he was in Kansas City or St. Louis.

I sure couldn’t pull it off but I expected a little more seamlessness from him than what I saw last night. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hammering Obama or saying he’s a bad guy – just not as polished as I was expecting to see.

I think the next 2 weeks are going to be media crazy. The Republicans have a “war room” set up near the Democratic convention so they can respond and attack at the drop of a hat. I’m not too sure “war room” is the best terminology for the Republicans to use in the midst of such dissension on the troops being in Iraq but what do I know?