I feel like I’m going in circles again, chasing my tail that I know I will never catch. It’s days like these when the resounding thing I hear is “Be still and know that I am God.”
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My girly-girl has another cross country meet today. They run through a pasture in Alvord. There’s nothing like cross country in Wise County. The Alvord team is always good. They are 2A but run against 5A schools all the time and typically do well. I hope Decatur does good today but I’m really hoping my little girl runs her best.
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Randy Warzecha, our missionary in Brazil arrives in Decatur today. I am looking forward to seeing him because he is one of my heroes. A quiet, very humble man with a passion to share the Good News. He brings his new wife, Angela, a native of Brazil. I’m sure it will be a shock to her being in the U.S. She comes from a small village where the houses are about the size of our garage. She speaks very, very little English and will spend a little over a month in our country. It was odd spending a week in Brazil with 30 other English speakers but I can’t imagine what it would be like spending 6 weeks in a country where I didn’t speak the language.
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The Rangers wrap up the home schedule today. Here’s hoping for a win to close out a season that has been less than glorious.
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It’s Casa Torres night. I’m already hungry.

Have a great day! God bless.

My heart is aching today. I acted badly with an angel today and it hurts. It’s an ache that won’t easily go away, won’t easily be forgotten, won’t easily be overcome. I am struggling with my child, struggling to know when to speak and when to shut up, struggling to know when to help and when to let go, struggling to know what to do and what not to do. It’s frustrating and today was a breaking point. I lost my temper, a temper I have transferred to her unfortunately. I said things I wish I could un-say, acted out in ways I wish I could un-act. Yet it is done. It’s forged in her memory and mine. It hurts.

I hope she sees it is simply the devil that got ahold of me. I hope she sees the hurt, the physical and mental pain that giving into evil causes me. I hope she sees the grace of God that is my only hope. I hope she will forgive me but yet I know it’s a moment etched in her mind, a picture of her father I don’t want her to see. It’s not a picture she would see from her Father God.

I hope it will be her opportunity to get a glimpse of God, of forgiveness and grace. If she can learn that, it will simply be another victory of God over Satan on earth and it will take her farther than anything else I could teach her. I know my actions today may have shaken the foundation of our love but I hope she will know and see in future days that no matter what I do, God loves her completely. I do too, I love her with such depth but I don’t always show it. Yet it is that love for her that causes me so much pain today – to know I have hurt her, to know I have shown her a glimpse of the devil at work.

I am suspending comments today because all I ask from you is a prayer. Pray that my family sees God in me and pray that His spirit of reconciliation and peace is quick.

Edit: I just finished reading a couple of blogs – one where a family lost their 13 year old son and one who has a son that has been near death with an illness but appears to be on the road to recovery. I thank God that I have the opportunity to be with my children another day and will do my very best to remember that each day I have them is a gift from above.

I thought the Cowboys had a chance to win the game last night but didn’t expect them to take over the game the way they did. Chicago’s offense stinks and there is no way the defense can play more than they are being asked to and hope for much better but I have to say the Cowboys have a potent offense. Romo is certainly over the Seattle fiasco and TO is being quiet and playing ball so far. As a psuedo-Cowboy fan, it was a fun game to watch. And going for it on 4th and 3? Wow.
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I wasn’t too impressed with the race at Dover yesterday. I don’t like short tracks and there were way too many wrecks and malfunctions to make it a race. It was more like a Survivor episode.
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I had a sizeable lead in my fantasy football game yesterday until the Cowboys played. I had the Bears defense. My opponent (Craig) had Marion Barber and Jason Witten. He’s now 19 points behind me and has Drew Brees playing the mighty Tennessee Titans defense (ha-ha) tonight. It’s going to be a nail-biter.
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Decatur lost their homecoming game last Friday but made it a good game. It seems they are improving every week but it’s not going to be a picnic through district this year. Maybe some close games will be fun to watch too.

The cross country meet went well and my little angel improved her performance over last year. My favorite part was the last 400 meters or so. As she came by, I shouted for her to pass the girl in front of her. She held up 3 fingers indicating she was going to pass 3 of the girls in front of her. I think it ended up being 5 or 6 and she definitely improved on her finish from the same meet last year. Way to go!
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The Texas Rangers season is coming to another painful end. Last night’s loss insured a losing season. I remember going to the games in April and May with hope and have ended the season missing the last two games and not finding anyone who even wanted the tickets. I want to be a fan but it’s hard to have to drive an hour and see one loss after another. They barely make the local news now that the Cowboys are 2-0. Sad. The manager and GM have both been given extensions but I have a feeling that if significant improvement isn’t made next year, they will be gone.

I’m starting to feel the same way about remaining a ticket buyer.
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It’s homecoming for Decatur tomorrow. Huge mums. Queens contest. Packed stadium. I hope the football team can raise their level of play. They have struggled this year compared with prior years and I’m hoping they are in the process of putting it all together for a great run through district. It will be a big Friday night.

Today is the first cross country meet for my daughter. It’s in Ponder and not her favorite course (just listening to her description can be a bit funny) but it’s the first one so it’s a good one in my book. She loaded up on cookies for all her friends so they should be on a sugar high when they take off.

It’s amazing to watch her run. When she sprints the last several yards, it’s the best because her long legs really get going and she covers some ground. It will be a 2+ mile run…something that would put me in the hospital. I’m excited to go watch her today.
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I got a message early this week that one of my friends from college was killed in an auto accident last weekend. It’s too early for this to be happening. Mack leaves a wife and two kids and a lot of people who loved him. As the Sub-T (for those not familiar with Sub-T, it is a fraternity type organization at ACU where I attended college that was often credited with things not in keepng with the schools desires) email wire cranked up, I was struck that the one thing that kept flashing in my mind was the smile that was almost permanent on Mack’s face. He brought happiness to many people.

Each year, Subberville is a reunion held in different locales – Abilene of late – and each year they play golf. Starting in 2008, the golf tournament will become the Mack Dennis Memorial Golf Tournament and proceeds will go to a scholarship fund for his kids.

May God grant them peace.

My wife had our first observed teaching day at school last week. A lady from the Region XI program she is going through came out to watch her work through a class period and grade her on how she did. IT WAS GREAT! She got positive marks across the board. I have to say it was no surprise to me that she did well but I think she was a little nervous going into the day and didn’t expect the number of high marks she got. I’m so happy for her and so very proud of her.

I know she will be a wonderful teacher if that is what she chooses to do. She is already wonderful in many, many other ways.

We hosted about 30 3rd-6th grade kids from church at our home last night to eat, play, sing and fellowship. It’s fun to turn kids loose for about an hour and watch what they do. Several went and played a game with a football, others jumped on the trampoline, some went to see the llamas next door and others sat in a group and talked. Some were loud, some were quieter but they all seemed to find joy in what they chose to do. They weren’t burdened with paying bills, juggling multiple projects and things that needed to be done. In fact, they seemed completely unburdened and 100% involved in the moment. It was a beautiful sight to watch and enjoy.
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I hear the Cowboys won again. I had to leave early for a meeting yesterday and they had just scored a go-ahead touchdown when I was walking out. I’m glad they are winning but I don’t think they’ve played very good teams yet.

I watched some of New England and San Diego last night and NE was dominant. Cheating or not, they are winners.

TO and Randy Moss have been exemplary after two weeks. I wonder how long it will last?

How safe are you? How safe is your family? It’s something I don’t think about too often because I generally have a feeling of safety. Something happened yesterday that raised that question for one of my children and the feelings inside of me surprised me. Thoughts ran through my head of “if they hurt my child, I will…” and some of those ideas of what I would do were a little scary. I’m not surprised that I would rise up to defend my child but how quickly and how hostile I went from being a pretty laid-back guy to being ready to go on the offensive. If someone hurts one of my children, what will I do? How far will I go?

As I prayed about it last night, I also begin to think about how God feels when Satan tries to hurt us. How offended is He? How far will He go to defend us, to fight for us? I know God has a much better grip on defending and protecting me than I do on defending and protecting my children. I know God isn’t thinking the same thoughts of “what will I do” if someone hurts me like I had if someone hurt my children. God sees so much more than me, understands so much more than me, cares for others so much more than me.

I pray in everything I am forced to deal with, I will look for God’s will and design. Afterall, my safety isn’t in anything I can do or control but only in what God has already done through Jesus. My safety isn’t for here and today, it is for eternity.
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The funeral for our family friend I mentioned a few days ago is today. I won’t be able to attend but the Ferguson family is on my mind. If you would, please say a little prayer for that family today and in the day’s to come. Their loss is hard but their comfort will be in Molly’s love for the Lord and her devotion to Him.

I’m out of thoughts.
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Are the Rangers still playing? I haven’t heard much about them since football season cranked up. It’s the sad reality of a team playing below what they should be able to do. I have tickets to games that I can’t give away. Sad.
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I heard ESPN ranked the Cowboys as the 5th best team after the first week of play. They are ranked right behind…Da’ Bears…who lost their opener to San Diego. Go figure.
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I wasn’t really aware of the hurricane that was supposed to hit the Texas coast this morning. I’ve seen graphics but haven’t listened, instead only interested by seeing our temperatures go below 90.
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Another blog I read asked the question yesterday, “what song is stuck in your head?” Since the blogger is one of the very, very few who respond here (is anyone really out there?) I won’t expect an answer from him but leave the question for the rest of you to ponder. I really ask only so you will start thinking about the song in your head even more than you already were.
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It’s going to be a busy day so I’m off to the mill…

Yesterday, we lost a close friend of our family. She was a woman as good as gold, a friend to everyone and a servant to all. She died tragically in a house fire created by an explosion of some sort. They are still trying to find out what caused the explosion but it is one of those times when I can’t help but wonder why someone so good died in such a horrible way. It doesn’t make sense.
Molly Ferguson was a good and virtous person. Her death makes no sense but the people who know her know she is with God today, living a new life that is certainly more beautiful, more peaceful, more glorious than anything we can imagine on earth. She was a good and faithful servant, she ran the race and today is receiving her reward.