On this day 13 years ago my life changed dramatically, forever, and for the better. On this day 13 years ago, my wife and I woke up early and headed to the hospital where the birth of our first child would occur. On this day 13 years ago I remember the fear and excitement I felt. Fear for safety, for what changes would occur, for what I would do as a father. Excitement for the joy in seeing the miracle of birth, for what I would learn and experience with a child. On this day 13 years ago, I held a baby girl in my hands who wrapped one of her little hands around my finger. On this day 13 years ago, I held a baby girl in my hands who became wrapped around, over, under and through my heart.

My baby girl is growing up. She’s a teenager now and she is on her way to becoming more than I ever imagined for her. She is beautiful, intelligent and insightful. She likes to sleep late and leave a mess in her wake. She is a young girl growing into a beautiful woman with a lot of grace and dignity but also with fears and missteps. She is not unlike many young women of her age, wanting to make her path and yet confused at times about which way to go. On the other hand, she is unlike many young women because she is my daughter and I see the beauty in her that only a parent can see.

My baby girl loves God and I love her because of it. She inspires me and makes me want to be a better father than I have been. She is a blessing that is beyond description.

Happy Birthday little girl. You are not so little anymore but you still have my finger, and my heart, in the grip of your hand.

I can’t seem to get off the treadmill of stuff that has to be done. No matter how fast or slow I go, it just keeps coming. The weight of it all is starting to weigh me down. Right or wrong, I’m finding myself in prayer more often asking God to help me, to help me find the way. I do not like these times. I feel so lost like someone so close to the shore but not able to reach it wondering when the waves are going to overtake me. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know there are many others faced with the same feeling. I don’t know any way out other than taking one thing at a time and asking God for guidance. I probably make things sound worse than they are. I say that because over the weekend, at least two sets of parents nearby lost their children in a car crash. Whatever I’m feeling today can be nothing like what they are feeling today. I cannot imagine the pain and wish no one else ever would.

In the end, I know this is temporary. Something much, much greater awaits me. The topic of heaven has popped up often in the last few weeks. I taught a class on it two weeks ago. It was again the topic last night at church and has come up in some other conversations. It has been good for me and has helped me set my thoughts on things above, on greater things. I look forward to heaven and I am more ready for Jesus’ return today than ever before. All of my struggles, all of my problems, all of my issues will be gone because of the majesty of God. I look forward to heaven.

Late for me to be blogging anyway. I was out yesterday to learn about the new Texas Margin tax on businesses, an income tax that isn’t called an income tax. It’s crazy. As individuals we always want industry to pick up more of the tax bill but in the end, the increase flows right back to us. What we need are fewer taxes…meaning less government waste…meaning a miracle.
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I’ve got the Friday mentality today. I’m waiting on 5:00 so I can shut down for the weekend. Of course, the myth of shutting down mentally and physically is just that, a myth. Maybe I’ll sneak in a little extra rest at some point.
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We’re going to play laser tag for my nephew’s birthday party Saturday night. It’s a fun game and I’m looking forward to zapping everyone.
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Speaking of birthdays, my baby has one coming up next week. Last night, we took her and some of her friends to Joe T. Garcia’s to eat (yes, my little angel picked it out). She finally got her cell phone that she has long wanted. She held it for a minute looking at it and we could see her hands shaking.

It was a hard decision for me to give it to her but a conversation with a friend makes it much easier. He says he enjoys texting his kids 2 or 3 times a night when they are out with friends just to remind them he’s around. He says it’s been a great way to stay in touch with them using their way of thinking and technology.

Happy early Bday koko.

It’s interview day. I am having to replace two people in my accounting staff and am spending much time going over resumes and now bringing people in to visit about the position and their qualifications. It makes me wonder about people. I have already talked to a few. There was the sweet young lady who couldn’t get along with other family members and gets her feelings hurt if someone corrects her. There was another candidate who replied to an email that included our company URL but had no idea who we were or what we did because she didn’t take the time to look. Today, I will visit with 3 and maybe 4 people passing judgment on whether they are qualified to work here. It is a mentally draining process and, if no one appears as a good candidate, it will make for a long day.
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Sponsors are dropping Michael Vick like a hot potato. Innocent until proven guilty? I don’t think so and I don’t blame the sponsors. Vick’s potential involvement is a black eye to those who have paid him to use him image. In the end, I will be most interested to see what happens to his career. It seems the American public can easily forgive an athlete who had done wrong but can produce on the playing field. I’m not so sure Vick will be welcomed back but if he is, I would suggest he be sent to Cleveland so he can play with their endzone gang known as the dog pound.
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I’m out for a tax seminar tomorrow so no blogging will occur. Have a great day!

The theme for the class I taught Sunday morning was one that was a little difficult because it is something that I fail to do. The theme of “I Can’t Wait…” caused a few ideas to pop into my head before I read through the lesson to find that the idea was “I can’t wait until Jesus returns.” As a Christian, that is an idea I am intellectually aware of but don’t really think about very often. I’m so caught up in what needs to be done at work, mowing, vacation, school and so on that I never stop to think about Jesus’ return.

While mowing on Saturday and pondering the lesson for Sunday, a recurring thought was “Be still and know that I am God.” I think if I found more time to be still with God, Jesus’ return would be a more central, focused thought for me. I need to find the time, I need to make the time to be still with God.

When I was going to Colorado, it was all I could think about yet I really, really want to get to heaven but I think about so many other things.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

I hear you Lord.

It’s good to be home. After too many days away from my wife and my children we all came back together Saturday night (the kids were with grandparents and my wife was in lovely Abilene). It was a wonderful evening that caused me to think about how much I appreciate the 3 of them and how important they are in my life.
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The funny comment of the day Saturday came from my daughter. The kids had been at my parents and we met between here and there at a restaurant for lunch. The kids were sitting next to each other when my youngest spouted off something to his sister and her comment was, “Shhhh, we’re with dad now.”
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I remember my mom always saying how good it felt when she got a compliment on her child. I always assumed it was because they came so seldom, they overwhelmed her. Anyway, she was passing along compliments about our children from some of her friends and I was so proud of my kids. I suppose parents always wonder what in the world there children will do when they are off and about. My kids make me proud.
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It’s good to be home.

I made it to Las Vegas without too many problems. Our plane was a hour late leaving and I was starting to think I was in for another long, long day. Fortunately, we got going and made it here to find…rain.

After getting settled in, we (3 of my co-workers) headed to Hoover Dam and took a tour. It’s fascinating to think about the sacrifices that were made and the hard, hard work it took to build the dam. The highest paid worker was making $1.25 an hour – most were around 50 cents an hour.

Now, they are building a suspension bridge that will go over the Colorado River below the dam. It’s incredibly high above the river and I cannot imagine the people who are working on it now. I certainly wouldn’t want to be at the top and I wondered how comfortable I would be driving over it when completed.

We begin our training seminar tomorrow – 3 intense days. I’m taking all of my savings to the casino tomorrow night and try to build a college fund for the kids. Not really. I hope to catch a show Thursday night, either the Blue Man Group or Cirque du Soleil. If anyone has recommendations, I’m all eyes.

I didn’t sleep well last week and I’m feeling the effects of it today. The brain isn’t churning much out (yes, I know some of you think that is the norm but it’s worse than usual).

I watched the playoff of the golf tournament yesterday. It came down to the last hole of a 4 hole playoff and to the last putt. I’m not a fan of watching golf on TV but it was a good ending. Plus, there wasn’t a football game, baseball game or race on.

This week will generate the talk about Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron’s home run record. I don’t know how people in baseball will handle it but based on what the talk has been so far, it won’t be handled well. Will the commissioner be there? Will they finally use an asterisk in the record book? I wonder what would be happening if Barry was more media and fan friendly. Would the uproar be half as loud? For me, I think it’s all about the image he has projected. He may not have hit that many home runs without steroids but others were taking them and not hitting that many so he definitely has some skill. Steroids have put a black eye on the game but the game let it happen.

Go Rangers! Will they trade Tex, Sosa, Gagne, Otsuka, Lofton? Cowboys camp starts tomorrow. Those stories should be enough to drown out the home run chase a little bit. I hope.

A friend had their car broken into and some of the contents stolen yesterday. Theft is so frustrating because it comes into our secured space and takes something from us. When I lived in Ft. Worth, my truck window was smashed and contents stolen two or three times and it happened in my driveway while I was sleeping not too far away. I’ve known others who had their house broken into, even a deeper penetration of what we consider a safe place.

As we talked about the break in last night, I was reminded again that our stuff isn’t really ours. It is, but it isn’t. We have been entrusted with things but it can be taken from us in a instant. I take the dollars I work to earn and send them off to someone else for my house, my car, clothes, food, etc. Yet, a tornado could wipe away my house, a wreck could total my car, a thief could run off with all my clothes (he would need some big friends) and on and on. As much as I think my stuff is mine, it’s only temporary.

Of course, I’m leading to the idea that we all have different abilities and the capability for different responsibilities and all of our efforts need to focus on the Creator and Giver of life itself. The only thing, the one, single thing we have is a gift in the form of His son, a Savior who has presented us with the only thing we really need. The cars and money and houses and stereos and everything else will be lost from us at some point but there is one thing we have been given that lasts. Yes, we can lose the gift Jesus gave us by ignoring it and turning away from it but if we will grasp it, hold it, cherish it, use it…it is ours to keep.

It’s my favorite song. Many years ago I just loved to sing it. I remember it being one of the main songs I used when rocking my babies to sleep. As I have come to know grace, to feel it and understand it, the song remains my favorite. Before leaving for vacation, I went on iTunes and did a search for Amazing Grace. There were hundreds of versions by various signers and I started downloading. I think I have 11 or so different singers and versions of it. Ruben Studdard (one of the American Idol contestants) does a great version. Chris Tomlin and Jars of Clay both encapsulate the song with different arrangements that are beautiful. Willie Nelson lends his country touch and Bob Seeger and Arlo Guthrie really get folksy with the tune. The Dropkick Murphys put a rocking rendition together that is like nothing I’ve heard before.

My favorite by far are the Royal Scottish Dragoons. I’m not sure what Dragoons are but they play a mean bagpipe. I’ve told my wife when I have a funeral that I don’t want much but I do hope she can find someone to play Amazing Grace with bagpipes.

It is such a blessing when we can recognize grace. I don’t think I did for many years but I feel it in waves today. I’ve heard people say that those who have sunk the deepest may understand grace the most. I don’t know if it’s true or not but believe there have been times I’ve sunk deeper than I ever want to go again and I am confident that grace rescued me.

I’m so thankful for the grace of God. I pray I will never take it for granted, that I will rejoice in the healing power of it and that I will give it freely, as freely as God shares it with me.