I’m thankful for great times with great friends.  It was one of those nights of great company, great food and great conversation.  We were talking about my predicament in life…no job, no current prospect, no income and no defining job role that I am seeking.  Not a great combination for success I suppose.

People ask me “what do you want to do?”  Well, tonight I figured out there’s an easy answer but I’m not sure how to say it where others will understand.

I want to show others the overwhelming love of Jesus.

I don’t know what kind of job that looks like, I don’t know what it pays, I don’t know where the office is…lots of I don’t knows.  I just know thats what I want to do.

Today I saw two stories on the morning news.  The Dow would likely break a record high was the first story.  By the end of the day, the record was broken and I’m guessing someone was breaking open some champagne.  The second story was that 51,000 people would be homeless and sleeping on the streets of New York tonight and ONE-HALF of those are CHILDREN.  (How many more in Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles, Houston, Denver, Dallas, Atlanta, etc.?)

What story do you think continued to make the news cycles today?  Yeah, the homeless were quickly forgotten because our 401k’s are a little better off, the rich just got a little richer and life is good.

Hey, I’m guilty too!  I want a Mercedes S550.  Yes, it’s $110,000 to buy one.  I want to landscape my backyard and change the configuration of the pool.  I want to travel.  I want, I want, I want.

But I also want to show people the love of Jesus.  In fact, I want that more than the other stuff.  I want what will last and will change generations.  I want the wealthy to make more money AND give more money away because they have experienced the love of Jesus.  I want the homeless to get off the streets because someone showed them the love of Jesus AND provided a way for them to get off the street.  I want the young lady walking into the abortion center to experience the love of Jesus AND let her baby have life because someone showed her the love of Jesus.  I want the drug users to put down the pipe or the needle because someone showed them the love of Jesus.  I want the murderer to put down the gun, to cherish life and to show others what they have learned about the love of Jesus.

Oh Lord, I pray I reflect you.  I pray I show others the love the Jesus, my Redeemer and Savior.

Grace and peace.

Being present.  Living in the present moment.  Appreciating today.  These ideas are very difficult for me.  On one hand, I live for the present moment and appreciate the opportunities that often come along with being present in the present moment.  Yet, it seems I am often forced into the role because I’m more concerned with tomorrow and the day after that and the days beyond that.

I am currently living in gift of taking time to enjoy what the present moment offers.  It’s a gift because it is something I have longed for – time without constraints of where I must be or what I must do.  So, how have I handled the gift?  Simply by trying my hardest to fill up the time.  Meeting people for breakfast, lunch and dinner, reading things that may lead to something more important down the road, worrying about what the future holds.  None of these things (other than worry I suppose) are bad in and of themselves when done for the right reasons.  However, when I’m doing it simply to fill space or because of what it will lead to, I’m afraid I am missing the point of the gift.

I hope as I write this post that my own words are calling me to appreciate the gift for the remaining days it is available because inevitably things will change and I will be forced back into a more routine, possibly more chaotic, environment.  I want to learn to live better in the present moment, to appreciate what this moment offers me whether it is rest or the opportunity to learn or build relationships – but to do so appreciating it for now and not how it will affect other outcomes down the road.

Time is so precious and a gift I have wasted over and over.  I am praying that I will not take the rest of this day for granted or let it be filled with guilt for what I do or don’t do, but to simply appreciate it for what it is.

Grace and peace.

Our society views ambition as a positive thing, something that shows the good in people.  Tim Ross, a Pastor for Gateway Church spoke about ambition at the RightNow Conference last week and it wasn’t in the good sense our culture attaches to the concept.

Tim had some great quotes I’ll add in but the overall thought of his talk was that our ambition is often that, “ours”, and not God’s will or desire for us.  Ambition leads us to do, do more, and more, until all we do is do and there is no room left for God, no room left for Sabbath, no room left for right direction.

“Sometimes we can have a list of things to do for God that He did not intend to do through us” was one of the quotes from Tim that really struck me.  For so many years I have been running hard trying to please people because I thought that is what God wanted me to do.  After a couple of serious crash-and-burn episodes, I now realize that God wanted me to listen to Him more and to myself less.

Another comment from Tim, “Ambition has to be something to be stamped out before God’s will can be put in” drove the above point home with me.  I want to learn to be more ambitious about one thing, knowing God’s will for my life, to learn to hear Him, to wait on Him, and to go when and where He calls me.

I want my ambition to simply be God’s desire and plan for me.  Ephesians 2:10

Grace and peace.

Some of my good friends seem to believe Obama’s reelection means the sky is falling.  Others seem to believe that Obama’s reelection means good Christians should spew hate filled talk and writing.  Some seem to think we will all go broke.  That Mexicans and Muslims will take over the country.  That abortion will become even more accepted.  Now, a petition exists for Texas to secede.

I see and hear all of this and keep wanting to ask, “so, how will Obama’s victory and all these fears cause you to not fulfill God’s plan for your life?”  I’m a pessimist by nature, always looking for the negative so I can prepare for the worst.  I don’t see it as a problem because I’m prepared for bad times and can really enjoy the good times.  That bit of trivia aside, I suppose I believe this country is getting what it has sown.

For years, our society has celebrated our prosperity.  God has blessed us!  Really?

So many Christians groan about Roe v. Wade and spend their money at movies full of sexual innuendo and skin or watching TV shows that celebrates unGodly living and then wonder why our children are getting pregnant.  Other Christians complain about drug use but have affairs, look at porn, or spend their time gossiping about what someone else is doing.  Good Christians who have received God’s mercy and grace talk negatively about the homeless and our neighbors from the south coming into our land with little, if any, grace and mercy to spare.

All the while, so many in the church and outside of it keep celebrating our prosperity.  God has blessed us.  Really?

We reap what we sow.  Karma.  What goes around, comes around.

You’re surprised Obama was reelected?  Come on and climb out from under your rock.  Open your eyes.  Look and listen to what is happening.  God has blessed us with prosperity but who are we blessing with all that we have?  The church in Acts 2:42 sold all they had and shared with anyone who had need.  How often do you see that happen in your church today?  Not every person who needs money needs it to buy booze so why are so many so skeptical?  What if God hadn’t given us Jesus on the cross?  Then, what if he lumped us all in with other sinners because we asked for mercy?

The sky isn’t falling but God just might be asking us to wake up, look around and act more like His son.  Afterall, we reap what we sow so who do we want to imitate the most?

Give me Jesus.

Grace and peace.

There’s not much worse than politicians and the hot air they create.  The arguing, bickering, lying, grandstanding, anger and hatred that sometimes comes from politicians mouths can make a person sick.  When they start speaking out about rape, it can get even worse.  Throw in the talking heads and it’s just downright disgusting.  It evokes thoughts of The Exorcist and projectile vomit.  As bad as those groups make my head hurt, the worst are the people who take to Facebook, Twitter and in small groups begin verbally assaulting the poor, the homeless, the welfare recipients and others like them.  I see comments about people on welfare not being allowed to vote, that homeless don’t deserve a voice, harsh and what I believe to be many other hate-filled comments.  Here’s what I want to know from these people.  What are they doing to help the people on welfare, the homeless, the poor, the sick?  Answer that and then I’ll listen to what they have to say.

A year or so back I walked the streets of Denton late one Friday night with 2 friends.  Our purpose was to talk to some people that were homeless and see what we could do to help.  Over time we befriended 4 homeless men and spent a year trying to help them get on their feet.  It was a challenge.  One moved, two others disappeared and one got so sick we couldn’t do anymore for him.  However, we tried.  We invested time and money in these guys and we got to share the love of God with them.  In fact, I learned some things about faith and community from these guys I have never learned in church.  Here’s what drove me crazy – people telling me what homeless people did or didn’t want that did not have the credentials of hitting the streets and working with these people.

I’m ranting, but hey, it’s my soapbox.  I see so many people abdicating responsibility to government who claim to be conservative, Christian and Republican.  Quit griping about the prayer in school issue and model prayer for your children.  Quit griping about how much is spent on welfare and give from your riches. 

So often, I find the people who gripe the least or the same people who not only give the most but overflow with grace.  Those are the people I want to listen to.  Those are the people I want to spend time.  Those are the people I want to be my mentors.

Lord, bind the mouths and touch the hearts of those who complain and fill them with vision and passion and a path to serve.  Lord, make me one of those people.

Grace and peace.

I have missed blogging.  So much has been going on, so much demanding my time and my emotional bank account.  I went bankrupt and I feel I have taken another trek into the desert and am coming out of it very tired in all aspects, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Yet, it is in these broken times that I have found myself allowing God to do His work in me and I pray that this is one of those times.

I don’t know what the coming days hold.  I don’t know how much I’ll blog but I do feel I have some things I need to get out of my head and on “paper” so I can kick them around and mull them over.

This blog comes with the same caveat as my previous blog – this is MY space.  It’s intended for me to say the things I need to say.  I don’t intend to offend anyone but my thoughts are sometimes raw and may not always be understood in the translation from mind to page.  And while I don’t won’t to offend anyone, this is my space for my thoughts.  It is not a place where my goal is to dispense wisdom or inspirational messages but to let my mind breathe.  I have found some people cannot allow others space to voice their thoughts and feelings and still act like adults.  I deal with it enough everyday and this is not the place for it.  In the workplace and in my day-to-day life, I will attempt to try and reach a collaborated agreement to resolve the problem.  But, in this space, I do not feel compelled to hold back.

On the other hand, if I talk about things that speak to you in some way, it’s up to you whether to converse with me about it or not.  I do not have an issue talking things through with others as long as we can agree that this is my space to throw things out, even throw things up at times.

I’m ready.

I’ve talked about it.  I’ve thought about it.  I’ve tried to do it on purpose.  I’ve done it on accident.var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”); document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src='” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”)); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-12356560-1”); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}

I made it.  I survived Ski Trip ’12 with the church youth group.  Woohoo!var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”); document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src='” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”)); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-12356560-1”); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}