If you read my post yesterday, you know I was struggling through it being a mentally-manageable day. In the end, it was much more trying than I would have ever expected but also I constantly reminded myself to trust God to help me carry the burdens of the day and it was more peaceful than I first imagined. What I really brought home at the end of the day was the desire to grow into a relationship with God where I instinctively rely on Him instead of reminding myself that it’s not all about me and what I decide to do.
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If you are reading this on June 4, please be sure to read the verse of the day on the right-hand side of my blog.
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This weekend is my son’s last baseball tournament of the year. He’s playing better than ever and I’m sad to see the season come to a close while he’s having so much success but it’s time for Camp Deer Run, a trip to Brazil, Uplift, vacation and Fortress – trips all or some of us are involved in. As I look at our full agenda for the summer, the one thing that makes me smile is that so much of what we are involved in is related to a desire to serve God and to grow in our relationship with Him. I don’t say that out of personal pride but joy and thankfulness that God has surrounded me with so many people, especially family, that love Him. God is good.
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Tonight I get an opportunity to speak to our youth group about prayer. I have wrestled with this topic for several weeks now and it is something I will be studying for weeks to come because I feel like I’m only scratching the surface of what God wants me to understand. I worry that I won’t be able to present what I’m feeling very well but have an excitement inside me because of what I have started to see and understand. I am praying that God will let His message come through me tonight and I will be able to share some of the joy I am finding in this study with the kids tonight.

I hope you join me today in a journey to seek God and know His peace.

Do you ever get that feeling that the walls are closing in on you? I had that feeling this morning – the pressure that comes with forgetting to turn things over to God, the pressure from thinking I am in control, that I can handle all my problems and issues I have to deal with.

I am slowly, very slowly, learning the peace that can come when I put more trust in God; when I seek His help and turn over my worries, when I quit spending my time trying to think through everything and I spend more time talking to God. I wonder why I don’t let go, why I let the stress and pressure of doing it all myself beat me down.

I have to make a trip to Ft. Worth today for a business problem and I hope to spend some of that time in the car visiting with God, asking for His help and thanking Him for caring so much about me. I believe if I can do that, the walls will start pushing back out, the light will come in and I will feel lighter and peaceful.

I really don’t have much going on today.
I’m sick of hearing about Adam (Pacman) Jones.
I’m willing to bet a Diet Dr. Pepper there are some golfers who have used steroids.
The Rangers lost their first series in a while…to Tampa Bay…who has the best record in baseball. Go figure.
I really enjoyed our study of Ecclesiastes this past quarter. It reminded me that the things I put so much effort into in this world are really meaningless unless those actions are aligned with my ultimate goal of Heaven.
I spend every waking moment with thoughts on forgiveness and prayer bouncing around in my brain. I know they are two areas that will draw me closer to knowing God the more I know and practice them.
I’m realizing more every day that the practice, the routine of trying to forgive and praying will be somewhat empty until I build my relationship with God by trusting Him and submitting to Him.

I long for peace…for you, for me and for everyone who walks this planet.

It amazes me that another school year is almost over. My baby girl goes to high school next year and I’m still not fully accepting that. My children have now blown through the elementary and intermediate schools – it doesn’t seem right. When I slow down long enough to reflect on their growth, I’m struck by how big they are getting; physically and emotionally. It scares me that they will be gone before long but reminds me how I want to cherish the time they are here.

They have both blown me away this year with their academic achievement. I know parents think their kids are the brightest and best looking ever and I’ll sign up for that role. I am very proud of how they have done in school and thankful they got their mother’s smarts and good looks.
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Tonight at church, the incoming 7th graders get to come meet with the youth group. Both the kids will now be a part of this program which has been an absolute blessing to our church. Our youth minister, Jacob and his wife, Heather have been incredible leaders, examples and friends to so many kids who have come through our doors. I joke with Jacob at times that he is now responsible for raising my children but, in fact, he and Heather take on a role of being a teacher and mentor to the kids which allows them to be a great influence in these kids lives. I am so thankful for these two and the love and passion they both share for our youth.
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How ’bout them Rangers? They are still hanging in there but can’t seem to get over the .500 hump. It’s just fun to watch them play some competitive baseball. They beat the Tampa Bay Rays last night who, surprisingly, own the best record in baseball. Go Rangers!

Gig ’em Aggies. The friend who came over to look at our air conditioner is an Aggie and being that it seems our a/c is working properly again, I’m a big Aggie fan today. I think I’ve got the fenced patched up. It’s down to getting the truck running again.
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Do you go through periods where you feel like there is something you need to be seeing or learning or correcting but can’t put your finger on what it is? I feel like I’m going through one of those right now, a time where I believe God is wanting me to see something or do something but I haven’t quite figured it out yet. It’s frustrating and trying. I want answers but don’t necessarily want to seek them or wait on them.
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A scripture from Colossians came up last week in a conversation that always strikes me with a mental thump on the head. “Forgive as God forgave you.” I can’t help but always wonder what kind of person I would be if I forgave the way God forgives me and if the world forgave as God forgives. What would our relationships between family, friends, church members, governments, nations – what would our relationships be like if we forgave like God forgives? What would we be like?

We would be more like the image of God.

Today is Memorial Day, a holiday I think really gets overlooked. Today is a day to remember people who have sacrificed their lives for this country, for you and for me. I hope people will stop to remember today, remember what we have and what it cost to achieve it.
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It’s been an “exciting” weekend for us. The air conditioner has gone out, my truck quit running and the dog literally tore a hole through the fence and got out. I don’t know what’s coming next but I could use a break right now. I think I’ve got the fence pretty well secured. A friend from church who used to work on a/c units is coming over today to look at ours and hopefully, I’ll get my truck in the shop tomorrow and it won’t be too expensive to make it go again.
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If I’m adding in my head correctly, we are roughly 20 days away from leaving for Brazil. That doesn’t seem quite possible but the day is coming fast. I ask for your prayers for safety and for God’s will to be served in our trip and for our families who stay home and keep things running.

Peace to you today.

Last night was basketball night after church. I got to play on the team that won both games we played. Someone made the comment last night about people not realizing they are too old to be playing anymore (most of the guys playing last night were in their late-teens or 20’s) and I thought I resembled that remark. I have to spend more time stretching out and wearing braces that keep me from falling apart but I still love to play basketball. My leaping ability has degraded to the point where I’m happy to jump over a string so I spend more time passing and setting picks so the young guns can do what they do in the lane. The majority of my shots come from the outside so I can get a little spacing. Still, it’s a game I have always loved to play and it remains that way today…even with the aches and pains.
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Jacob started a great class on prayer last night. He talked about making sure we are seeking what God wants when we pray, not just what we want. He made the point that we sometimes treat God like Santa Claus, just giving him our wish list and then going on our way. I appreciate what Jacob challenges our kids with and challenges me with also. I want to pray that God will use me, will work through me and let me speak for Him instead of just telling God the way I think things need to be. I want to honor God by giving Him control and glorifying Him.

I went to see Speed Racer last Friday with my son and some of his friends. While I wasn’t crazy about the movie overall, there was a scene that got me thinking about something else I have been thinking about which made me think that much more about it. Confusing?

Speed is a little boy and Rex, his brother, is letting Speed sit in his lap driving Rex’s race car. He tells Speed something along the lines of “just listen to her (the race car) and she will tell you what to do.” The idea was that instead of Speed having to make it all happen, if he would listen to what the car was telling him, he would know how to drive better. In a way, it comes down to the relationship between the driver and the car.

I’m going to be talking to our youth class in a few weeks about prayer and my lesson is going to be centered on our relationship with God and the idea that the better our relationship is, the better our prayer life will be. Just think about someone you don’t know very well and having to start a conversation with them. It’s not always easy and sometimes there is little said. Other times, as you converse, you find commonality and build bonds and the conversation is easier and future conversations are something you look forward to. One of the keys to building that relationship is to not be the one doing all the talking but to take time and listen, hear what the other person is telling you. That’s a failure often in my relationship with God. I pray telling him what I need, what I want, what I hope will happen and then I’m done and gone. There is no listening on my part and only 1/2 of the relationship is being fulfilled.

My prayer life has to be built on a relationship. I need to know God well enough that I can have a conversation with Him and that prayer time is something I look forward to over and over. To build that relationship, I also need to listen, to hear what He is telling me. If it do it, I will certainly go further, faster than any race car could ever take me.

Our church building was filled last night with parents and video cameras for The Children’s Place end of year program. It was another great night with the kids showing just a little bit of what they have learned during the year. The Children’s Place has been a great project over the years and I have enjoyed being a part of it and watching it grow.
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The Rangers lost yesterday. Just when I thought they would win the rest of their games.

Are the NBA playoffs still going? I wouldn’t know. I heard something about LeBron getting on his mother at a game. I bet that was fun for him later that night.

I’m so tired of the sports scandals but it won’t end until the fans quit paying lots and lots and lots of money to go see these guys perform.
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This is where some blogs leave a question for you to answer. Since I don’t have many responders, I’ll leave the question up to your own mind today. I hope you get the answer right.

It’s Wednesday and I feel brain-dead today. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the rainy weather and a small desire to get back in bed and sleep.
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How ’bout them Rangers! They played some really, really good ball last night.

They still scare me at 1st base.
I don’t think C.J. Wilson would be a closer anywhere else but he’s all we have right now.
Hank Blalock has spent way too much time on the DL the last few years to give me the feeling he will be a reliable player in the future.
Pitching is always iffy but our guys have done well more often than not. I just wonder how long it will last.

With the exception of those concerns, the Rangers are fun to watch right now. They’ve won the last 6 series which they last did when they made the playoffs (’99 I think). I’m ready to go to another game and wish I could make it out for the Houston series this weekend.
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Our mission group is roughly 33/34 days from leaving for Brazil. I am starting to solicit your prayers now and will do so more the closer we get.

Peace.