Tag Archives: conflict

Old Adages

29 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Life, politics, Uncategorized

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I’ve often heard (and probably guilty of saying) “they got what they deserved” when something bad happens to someone not well liked or looked down upon.  Whatever bad thing happened to them…well, they deserved it.

I wonder if people ever say that about me.

I wonder if people say it about the United States.

I watch Donald and Ted and Marco digress into name calling while our country suffers and can’t help but wonder if we aren’t getting what we deserve.  When shows like “The Real Housewives of Wherever” and a slew of other trashy, conflict-driven offerings continue to collect viewers is it any wonder we get the Theater of the Absurd from the people running to be the “leader” of our country?

I wish we had great debates about the needs of this country.  Instead Donald calls Ted and Marco names and they fire right back…because too many people enjoy it.  We wonder why we battle over #BlackLivesMatter and #CopsLivesMatter.  We wonder why there are so many people living on the streets and so many others living in poverty who need health care.  We wonder why there are so many problems with our country and then we see so many encouraging the junk we see on TV from people who want to “make America great again.”  Really?

Sadly, it seems love and concern for our fellow man is quickly evaporating while I want a nicer car, bigger house and more of everything grows.

In a conversation about political correctness yesterday, one wise gentleman made the comment that our failure to know each other, to enter into meaningful relationships with people we don’t know or don’t agree with is the cause for political correctness and spending time with each other is what will eliminate it.

We have a country that is deeply divided in so many area and this is what we get for folks who want to be President.  We may just be getting what we deserve.

Grace and peace.

That is Offensive To Me

10 Friday Jul 2015

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As I sit here watching the South Carolina Highway Patrol Honor Guard remove the Confederate flag from the State Capitol, as I hear several in the background saying “Thank You God!” and shouting “USA, USA, USA” I have a sense of pride in the people doing the right thing.  As I watch one of the members of the Honor Guard, a black man, take the flag and present it to the Curator of the museum, I can only imagine his feelings.  As someone who has hung a Confederate flag in my bedroom as a child, I am proud of the people who made this decision and the reverence of which it was handled.

That said, to me the Confederate flag is a symbol of the south and a period of history.  It is a symbol of my high school mascot at one time.  It is not about racism for me though I understand it is for others.  That said, a Dodge Challenger named the General Lee with a Confederate flag painted on it’s roof is most certainly related to a show about Southerners, their moonshining and their family.  To have that show removed from TV is offensive to me because it is censorship…plain and simple.

I believe marriage is between a man and a woman.  To see a bakery owner penalized because they stayed true to their beliefs is offensive to me.  The home of the brave and land of the FREE?  Really?  It doesn’t seem like the people owning the bakery are free to exercise their beliefs.

To have the government take the money I’ve earned and spend it on things I disagree with is offensive to me.

There are plenty of things I can be offended by.  The way the South Carolina government handled the flag issue, with lots of conversation, with people free to express their opinions and feelings and to make a decision after all that discussion and all those feelings are taken into account is a small glimpse of how to handle disagreements and to take what is offensive to some to a point of either compromise or collaboration.  When people of color listen to those who support the flag as a symbol of heritage our world is better.  When people who see the heritage can also see the pain our world is better.

When things are taken away, when people are punished simply because of someone’s opinion, we are all the lesser for it.

I’m offended by lots of things in this country.  It doesn’t mean I’m right and it doesn’t mean I should always get my way.  Taking our offenses to the table of peace and trying to come up with better solutions is when offense ends and peace begins to take over.

Grace and peace.

Peacemaking in the Middle

31 Friday Jan 2014

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Last May I graduated with a Master of Arts in Conflict Resolution.  I initially started the class because a) I wanted to get a Masters degree and prove to myself at the ripe age of 46 that I could do it and b) I wanted to understand how to work through conflict better.  The program was more than I could have imagined (shout-out to Abilene Christian University and the Duncum Center for Conflict Resolution) and set me on a path to address conflict more productively in my own life and to help others through conflict.

Shortly after completing the degree I went through a life change leaving the job I had for 18 years and venturing into the unknown.  As things go sometimes, my plans failed and I was in a downward financial spiral for several months.  I finally found a new job but it hasn’t been exactly what I expected.  What I did expect was conflict in the workplace.  What I didn’t expect was the “why” and how it was being handled prior to my arrival.  For conflict to be truly resolved, the parties in conflict have to both want to resolve it and both talk to each other.  For various reasons I continue to understand better the longer I am here, that isn’t happening and may not ever happen.  I understand.  I still live in conflict with someone who rather berate me, challenge me and try to drag me into a fight than to sit down and talk as adults.  What am I supposed to do with that?  As a peacemaker, I want to reconcile with those I’m in conflict with and I want to help others at least resolve the issue if not reach further for reconciliation.  However, there are times when at least one party rather fight than reconcile.

I want to help them reach a peaceful ending.  I wish I could be a part of many happy endings but sometimes being in the middle means we can only help if help is wanted, otherwise we have to sit and watch.  Being in the middle of this conflict may mean I don’t have a position here when it reaches the end of the line.  While I don’t want that to happen, I still have a strong desire to help lead these guys into a peaceful settlement.  I doubt they will ever fully agree with each other.  There is much water under the bridge.  My goal is to help them simply let the past be the past, lay it down and only look to today and to the future.  Some things are hard to undo but everyday is a fresh start.

I’m in the middle.  It’s not where I want to be but it is where God has me now.  I hope I can help bring peace and reconciliation where there is hurt.  And, I hope I can do it and keep getting a paycheck!

Grace and peace.