Tag Archives: dreams

Another Day Older

30 Wednesday Dec 2015

Posted by in Life, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

Another day older.  Another year gone.  Another Christmas past us.  Lots of things happened in the past year, good things and bad things.

It seems so often when I have looked back I have settled on seeing the things that didn’t happen or the things that happened that set me back or mistakes I had made.  I wanted to blog more in 2015.  I wanted to launch a new web site focused on leadership.  I wanted to teach more about conflict resolution.  Shoot, I wanted to become a millionaire/billionaire and do great, charitable things with the money.  I wanted to exercise better and lose weight.  I wanted to make changes that didn’t get changed.  It’s easy to see all of that for so many people…I guess.

Fortunately there is the other side of the coin.  There are all those things I still want to accomplish in 2016, my new year to improve and still, there are some wonderful things that have happened this past year.  First and foremost, I got to spend a year with a woman I love and who adds so much richness and happiness to my life.  She helps me experience joy unlike anything I’ve known most of my life.  I got to travel with her.  Atlanta (don’t eat the tuna salad in Atlanta), Baltimore, San Francisco, Denver and Durango and other places.  I got a job that has my creative juices flowing (creative for someone with an accounting degree, anyway) and I look forward to coming to work every day.  I’ve got friends that I stay in contact with that remind me I have purpose.  I have continued to dream dreams.  Dreams of writing.  Dreams of doing things that will give me a sense of accomplishment.  Dreams of building a better family.  Dreams of experiencing more joy.  Dreams of being the man God wants me to be.

That’s what I really want for 2016…to be the man God wants me to be.  I realize that is a dangerous statement because my vision of that could be very different from His.  I always see myself on the mountain top and He may see me in the valley.  Heaven knows I’ve spent some time there already.  Regardless, in the end, I have learned the greatest peace I know is when I let go of my desires and seek His.  Doing that little thing…that is harder than expected…has brought great things to my life, my state of mind, my peace and my joy.

If someone else happens to read this, I hope 2016 will be your best year yet.  I encourage you to seek God, seek His will and live in His peace.

Grace and peace.

What’s Up With Prayer

30 Monday Jun 2014

Posted by in Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , ,

I was talking to my VSW (that’s Very Special Woman for those of you may be new) about prayer yesterday.  I don’t think I have met anyone who fully understands it.  I struggle at various times with wondering if what I am praying about is what God wants to hear.  I also struggle with asking God for wisdom and revelation and still feeling ignorant and blind.  Today, I got an email from a friend that had a message from a famous preacher on TV these days.  While I don’t always agree with the famous preachers theology, I also do not believe I have a corner on understanding the ways of God.  So, I read and listen and seek things that apply to what I know or what I want to know better.  Anyway, the email included this prayer…

Father, thank You for placing dreams and desires in my heart. I trust that You are at work to bring them to pass even when I can’t see it, even when it’s taking longer than I thought. I know that You are faithful, and I trust You completely in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now, I’m in a place in my life where I am wondering what the next step for me should be.  Stay?  Go?  Pursue the dreams of my heart?  Or is it too late for that?  Or is it just the right time?  I’m asking all those questions and get this prayer in an email today.  Hmm.

In a few minutes I will have some windshield time.  I need to make a couple of phone calls but will also do some praying…and hopefully some listening.  Today could be a big day.  I have a meeting that could be big in the next step of where I am headed.  Or, it could just be a little more gasoline burned in the pursuit of something I don’t see or understand completely.

Whatever.  I don’t really know what I am doing but I keep doing the things I know or think I should be doing.  God knows the desires of my heart right now.  Are they in line with his desires for me?  I guess that is what I am trying to figure out.  Or here from him.  I hope today I will get some wisdom and revelation.  And peace.

Grace and peace.

It’s Still Raining

12 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by in Faith, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

Yesterday I mentioned Casting Crowns Praise You In This Storm.  The song starts off with the idea that the singer has called on God and thought He would step in to change things but it’s still raining.  My last two posts are all about struggles.  They are about obstacles that seem to continually pop up to block a path to perceived peace, to perceived happiness, to perceived rest.

The night after writing the second post, I got home to my temporary quarters to find a mouse in my bed.  YES!  I saw him run and went to pull the covers back and no mouse.  I thought I must have imagined it when I picked up my pillow and he came flying out of the pillowcase.  What a great start.  Later, when lying in bed about to have a FaceTime chat with a loved one, the bed frame broke.

The two nights prior to last night I slept a combined 8 hours.  Last night I got 5 1/2.  I guess I can look at that and say things are improving.  It’s hard to go to sleep on a leaning bed wondering if a mouse is going to come cuddle up to me.  Or chew off an ear.

The lesson is I can call and call and call on God, say amen and it may still be raining.  I don’t know why.  I don’t understand Him.  This relationship He says He wants with me isn’t what Joel Osteen keeps promising folks.  It wasn’t the relationship most of the mighty men in the Bible had either but I’m not seeking that high of a status.

I want my job to work out but just heard there may be another buyer involved now.  It makes me even less certain this is a solution for long.  I want my relationships to work out but my job is leading me further away from the people I want to be with the most.

And I keep finding myself praying.  I keep going back to God.  Even I have to ask myself why after awhile.  Today’s Jesus Calling devotional said to share my dreams with Him.  So far, “NOPE” is the answer I have gotten to my dream requests.  I know the answer was no because I was very specific.  For the last four years I have made some very specific dream requests and the answer has been NO.  NO.  NO.

And I keep finding myself praying.  And it’s still raining.

Grace and peace.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

13 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by in Christian Living, Faith, Life, Prayer

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

I always like The Clash song asking should I stay or should I go?  It’s a question I have had so many times in various situations.  I feel like I’m in one now.  Do I stay the course I’m on, attempting to do the things I want to do or do I go towards a more conservative course, one where my dreams may get squeezed, my hopes blanketed?

It’s not an easy question.  Of course, I have many people willing to weigh in and I appreciate their thoughts but they are sometimes just as confusing.  One friend yesterday advocated one thing that takes the wind out of my sails but makes fiscal sense.  Another friend advocated pursuing my dreams, trusting that the risk is worth the reward…buy a little scary.

In the meantime, I feel like my life is momentarily on hold.  Maybe that isn’t a bad thing but it is frustrating at times.  There are things I want to do, things I want to say and I hesitate because of fear that my present situation may work against me.  Fear stinks.

On the other hand, the fear is just one side of the coin with the other being hope.  Hope for what I can almost visualize.  Hope for what may be.  Hope for better days and dreams fulfilled.

I still await the booming voice from the mountaintop telling me I am on the right path…or where the right path can be found.  Waiting…waiting…waiting.  No booming voice.

Today, I carry on towards the dream.  Tomorrow, I share time with my precious daughter.  Friday, I look into a more conservative, seemingly responsible solution.  Saturday, more time with my daughter and, I am sure, much reflection of what today and Friday bring to my mind and my heart.

God, in case it works for you, I’d love to hear a booming voice on Saturday.

Grace and peace.