This Oregon event has me frustrated.  I am frustrated enough that I can’t work right now and, instead, feel compelled to get some things out of my head and “on paper” so I can move on.

I’m frustrated the first thing our President does after something like this is call for gun control when it is painfully obvious people control is the needed action.

I’m frustrated that professing Christians call for more guns in the hands of people with licenses to carry them as if that is the way of Christ.  Seems like there was in issue with Peter and a sword and Jesus’ rebuke.

I’m frustrated at seeing a man walk the streets of the city I live in, obviously dealing with mental issues and appearing very angry and no one with the capacity to act doing anything about it.  I know people who have talked to this man and he needs serious, professional help.  He certainly doesn’t need to be walking our streets waiting for an incident that sets off something bad.  Or fatal.

I’m frustrated that Christ called for more love and society often calls for more war.  yes, I understand wanting to protect family and OUR way of life.  Interesting, though, that Christ called us to HIS way of life.

As a side note, one more proof this is not a Christian nation is to see all the people acting on “their civil liberties” when Christ-followers are called to deny self, give up their possessions (whether tangible or intangible-the things that come between me and Christ) and do things the way Jesus did them.

I’m frustrated because I want to be a Christ-follower but I want to do it my way.  I want what’s MINE.  I want to protect MY stuff.  I want what I deserve (forgetting what I deserve if I am committed to following Christ and then living for me).

I’m frustrated too, Mr. President.  Mental illness frustrates me.  Hatred frustrates me.  The lack of desire to fix the root of the problem frustrates me.  You, Mr. President, and your rhetoric frustrate me.  The desire of those who want to fix violence with violence frustrate me.  Most of all, I am frustrated by my own contradictions in thought and in practice.

I have plenty of questions and not so many answers.  Some of the answers, especially as they pertain to me and my actions, I try to avoid.  I am frustrated but I am also full of hope.  I believe Christ died for me and rose again so I can have salvation in eternity.  Christ chooses to love me through my failings and fallings.  Surely the desire of my heart and the tiny steps I try to make each day to look more like Christ and less like me please Him.

I am thankful in spite of my frustration.  I have hope in spite of my frustration.  I know there is something better for me even when I am frustrated.  Today is a bright day because of the future I have even though today also has some darkness and questions.  I am promised a reward, not an easy life.

I rest in the promise, in the hope, in salvation, in eternity with my Creator and Savior.

Grace and peace.