Tag Archives: peace

The Who

14 Tuesday May 2013

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Who are you?  Great lines to a song.  Great question for life.  It is something that I have asked myself many times and many times found myself trying to be someone that someone else wanted me to be.  I’ve been the good boy who didn’t talk too much.  I’ve been the good boy who was the youth group leader.  I was the good student.  I was the accountant.  I was the good Christian following all the rules.  I was the person others told me I needed to be or should be…but I usually wasn’t myself.

I have heard people wonder why teenagers were drawn to alcohol and drugs. Or, why are adults drawn to alcohol and drugs?  What would possess them to ruin their life and, potentially, hurt others in the process?  I think the answer in the most simple form is that they are not happy with who they are so they are either trying to be someone else or just trying to forget who they are for a little bit.

There are people today who think I have lost my mind.  I have made some decisions that don’t fit the norm and, looking at it from one angle, have put me in a precarious position financially.  Yet, I have a strong sense of peace as I think about who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I have a strong faith that God will provide all I need.  Sure, He isn’t working on my time frame but I was reminded the other day that God’s time frame is perfect, mine probably isn’t.

The last few years have allowed me to explore who I am and to begin finding contentment with the answers.  It is restructuring my faith.  It is restructuring my financial condition.  It is restructuring how I see others.  It is restructuring what is truly important to me.  And it is giving me more internal peace than I’ve ever known.

C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”  I am trusting and I am praying that the hardships I go through today while learning who I am and living my life more in line with who God created me to be will lead me to an extraordinary destiny.  I pray that for my friends too.

Grace and peace.

What Is God Up To?

08 Wednesday May 2013

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I want to be a peacemaker.  On Saturday I will graduate with a Master of Arts in Conflict Resolution and Reconciliation.  It is something I have worked hard at doing well and worked hard to receive and maybe the greatest thing I have done related to the passion of my heart.  And my life is full of turmoil.

I have walked hard roads.  Self-imposed at times.  As a victim of circumstances at times.  Recently I have suffered through a divorce that has been devastation at best, debilitating at worst.  Currently I am technically unemployed and watching my bank account drop (I have had some consulting works that keeps me floating).  Turmoil.

I was talking with a friend today who was sharing the Acts 16 story of Paul and Silas sharing the gospel and winding up in jail, flogged but still singing and praising God.  That’s when a thought struck me.  Does God want me to understand turmoil so I can better understand God’s peace?  To be a peacemaker, does God want me to understand the absence of peace or, at least, the attacks against peace?

Maybe so.  Maybe He has something planned for me that will rock my socks, that will allow me to live a life of passion and significance using what I am learning today in what seems like a walk through the wilderness.

I don’t know the plan.  I don’t know the time.  I am trusting God does and it will all fall together and the exact right time.  Then I will say, “I love it when a plan comes together.”

Grace and peace.

Lessons from Gus

11 Monday Mar 2013

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Last week, I was fortunate to be a participant in Abilene Christian University’s Conference on Peace.  I was able to share some things I have learned about peacemaking and heard several stories from some people doing great things to bring peace in the world.  One of the things I shared was one of the many lessons I learn from my dog, Gus.

One of the truths about peace is that it comes through conflict.  Big surprise, right?  As I listened to stories about conflict, I was struck by how it affects relationships.  And this is where my story about Gus came into the mix and generated several comments afterwards.

Gus is a great dog, friendly and sweet.  He’s is easy to love and pet.  He’s also a puppy, prone to tear up, chew up and dig up.  He gets in trouble and gets in trouble now and again.  Yet one thing is consistent with Gus.  He is always ready to roll over and let you pet his tummy.  When Gus does this, he is very vulnerable.  He could easily be trapped, struck, stepped on or held down and yet he does it over and over.

Gus and I have a good relationship.  I generally talk nicely to him and pet him a fair amount.  I also ignore him at times, pressing on to what is important in my world.  There are times I give him a harsh word for getting in my way.  And there are times he gets a spanking because he has done something I don’t like.  My relationship with Gus sounds like a lot of relationships I have been in but there is a difference in Gus and me.  Gus continues to roll over and be vulnerable hoping to get petted.  I have learned to hide my vulnerability.  Gus is willing to risk the pain of being ignored or hurt.  Me, not so much.  I am so afraid of the pain that I will miss the joy of being petted.

I have had my fair share of conflict in relationships and the pain that comes with it; pain that has been heaped on me and pain that I have caused others.  Gus sees people with the hope of being petted and I see people with the fear of pain.  Gus is willing to throw himself out there, I withdraw.  Gus looks for good things to happen, I calculate how much damage may occur.

This is what conflict does to people and how past conflict shapes the future.  Some people get through the conflict and move into a state of peace and are willing to be vulnerable again.  Others go through conflict and begin to see every step of the future as more conflict.  And relationships suffer.  Or never get off the ground.

I hope I will move to a place in my life where I am more like a dog, hoping and trusting that putting myself out there to get petted will get me petted more and not getting trapped in what happens when it doesn’t work out.  I hope I will choose to be more vulnerable.  There are conversations I want to have that I am afraid to start right now.  There are relationships I would like explore but I am afraid to risk the fear of failure right now.

I hope the day comes when I can enjoy relationships the way Gus does: full of hope, willing to be vulnerable and always open to try again.

Grace and peace.

Anxious Anxiety

15 Friday Feb 2013

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It’s easy to be anxious for some of us.  I suppose there are people who have never experienced anxiety.  I know there are others who have been anxious people who learned to grow past it.  There are others who will likely die in anxiety of death.

Jesus said, “Do not be anxious.”  It sounds like He was serious out it.  I know God was.

Someone recently said to me, “How can I not be anxious?”  Let’s face it.  Most of us are never going to go through life completely free of concerns, even worry.  The question is how do we go through life: trusting in God with some healthy level of concern that keeps us alert to what opportunities are put in our path or worried that things will fall apart even though we have no evidence it will fall apart?

I find those who are most anxious are most concerned with how they think life is supposed to look.  At least that’s been my personal experience.

I realized the way I think things should be isn’t the best way it should be.  I would NEVER suggest God allow His son to be crucified on the cross.  If God thinks that’s the best thing to do for my life, how do I decide what is best without His will and guidance?

I am learning to live with less anxiety (not without, just less!) as I realize the God who gave His son for me is the same God who doesn’t want anything bad for me.  He’s the God who wants to give me all He knows I need.  Maybe not what I think I need but, again, I would never have suggested God sacrifice His son.  If He will do that, what can I really worry about it?  That life doesn’t look like I think it should?

God, show me Your ways.  Open my eyes to Your path for me.  Open my heart to trust fully in You.  Speak deeply into me Father.  I want to know Your peace.  Always.

Grace and peace.

Peacemaking

25 Friday Jan 2013

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I am sitting in Abilene, Texas today enjoying a beautiful West Texas sunrise and wondering how we got from the upper-70’s to the low-40’s with wind so quickly.

I’m here as part of my goal to become a peacemaker.  I enrolled in the Master of Arts in Conflict Resolution program and I’m almost to the finish line.  I love it.  For so long I have never been at peace but had the gift of helping other people reach peace.  I didn’t understand some of the why’s behind that until enrolling in this course.

I’m an introvert.  Many peacemakers (mediators, counselors, etc.) are introverts.  They enjoy building a relationship with just a few people and really diving deep.  I used to avoid conflict at all costs or simply accommodate the other person to get past the conflict and save the relationship.  Many peacemakers are avoiders/accommodators but desire to help others find resolution.  (Note: as I’ve taken this course and learned tools for better conflict resolution, my style is changing.  I still don’t like conflict but I’m learning to work in it better and be more assertive in finding the better answer that benefits and helps all parties.)

I could go to some others character and personality traits but I said what I did for me and I understand the rest well enough.  What I understand most is that I want to help others find peace in the midst of conflict.  I love this program and I pray that God is paving the way for me to serve Him as a peacemaker the remainder of my days.

More to come on peacemaking…

Grace and peace.

A New Year. A New Peace?

01 Tuesday Jan 2013

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Peace is something I need and that I am diligently searching for in my life.  I do not feel as if I have known peace for many years.  Oh, there have been moments.  Vacation week at Fun Valley always brought moments of peace.  There have been others but they are more fleeting and I want a peace that lasts.  The thing is, it’s a choice I make but I don’t always make the right choice.  Here’s another guest post (www.tinybuddha.com) about finding more peace.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/6-steps-to-release-your-fear-and-feel-peaceful/

Happy New Year!

Grace and peace.

The Lion Tamer

31 Monday Dec 2012

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Anxiety is a killer.  I’m full of it right now but working to overcome it.  I’m unemployed and about out of money.  I’ve just entered a new year of my life that should be one where things are on track.  They aren’t.  That’s a recipe for internal disaster if ever I’ve known one.

This is a post I read on Tiny Buddha (www.tinybuddha.com) and one that I need to read and read again.  I hope you enjoy.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/overcoming-anxiety-moving-from-fear-to-presence/

Grace and peace.

Word Harder, Work Faster

30 Sunday Dec 2012

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The words of the title were words of advice the Managing Partner of a CPA firm I once worked for gave me during the closing days of tax season.  Work harder, work faster.  Isn’t this the mantra of our day, of our society?  Work, work, work, Do more, more, more.  Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.  I have been taught that the value of my life was in my production.  At church.  And at work.  And in relationships.

This is a post from my good friend, David Lewis.  It’s not about production through more work but through peace.  I love it and share it hoping it is a post I will come back to again and again.

http://themannaman.wordpress.com/2012/12/27/slow-down-you-move-too-fast/

Slow down.  Find peace.  Enjoy it.  Live in it.

Grace and peace.

Off the Reservation

29 Saturday Dec 2012

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OK, since I’m not really telling any of my friends about this blog, it’s a good time for me to get this out in the open.  I’m intrigued with Buddhism.  Intrigued may not be the right word but I haven’t given time to a study of Buddhist teaching yet but intend to.

NO, I’m not becoming a Buddhist in the sense that I’m leaving Christianity.  In fact, what little I know so far about Buddhist teaching only enhances my Christ-following walk.  Buddhist aren’t afraid to talk about suffering and pain and how to move through and past suffering and pain.  That’s what I really, really like about them.  They teach living in the present moment and accepting all that comes with it, both good and bad.  Sound like any of Christ’s teachings?  I appreciate the idea of Karma because I’ve read that you reap what you sow.  I appreciate the teachings about the present moment because I’ve read not to worry about tomorrow because today has enough troubles of it’s own.  I appreciate the teachings about enduring suffering and moving past it because Christ died for my eternal soul, not just what I am doing today.  I appreciate the teaching and practice of meditation because God said, “Be still and know that I am God.”  Buddhists are good at living out what they teach whereas I’ve grown up in a Christian environment where I have been taught to work harder and study less.

In the upcoming weeks, I’ll be using some guest posts to share what’s going on in my mind.  Remember, these are for me so if you don’t like it I hope you’ll at least take some time to think about what is being said.

Yes, I’m venturing off the reservation on which I’ve grown up but like so many I have found there is a world outside the bubble that teaches things of great benefit to me to help me on my journey to grow closer to God and closer to peace within myself.

Grace and peace.