While I’m Waiting…

30 Friday May 2014

Tags

defeat, faith, hope, overcome, Psalms, waiting

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” — Maya Angelou

Defeats. Plural, not singular. I have faced my fair share and I know I am not alone. As I struggle with my professional life and feel defeated, I can look at my personal life and see victory. As I struggle with my financial situation and feel defeated, I look at tomorrow and I still hold out hope for better days ahead. I appreciate what Angelou says in the quote above and look forward to a day I can look back and see what I have risen from. I hope for that day. I hope for favor from God.

John Waller sings a song about waiting, about hope. I recall it every now and then because it is a reminder to me that even when I feel defeated, there is hope in the rest of today and hope in tomorrow.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m tired. Some of David’s psalms resonate when he asks YHWH to deliver him before his spirit is too low, before it is crushed. Waller’s song reminds me to wait on YHWH, to take the defeats of today so I can learn from them and be reminded later down the road what I have risen from.

It isn’t easy for me to wait. Truth be told, I’m very tired of waiting right now. I want to experience the joy that comes from using my gifts in a place where they are needed and wanted. I want to experience nights with my someone special where we can talk like we used to. I want to dig out of the financial mess I’m in and live comfortably, smarter than I have in the past, more responsible. I keep waiting for that time to come.

Wait for YHWH; be strong and take heart and wait for YHWH. – Psalms 27:14

Grace and peace.

It’s a Struggle

29 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by Seeking Peace in Faith, Life

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Tags

faith, patience, Psalms, waiting

This weekend has been a hard few days. Physically. Emotionally. I feel alone. I read Psalms 13 a few times this weeknd and it resonated. Then I read it in the Message version and it jumped off the pages at me.

Long enough, God. You’ve ignored me long enough. I’ve looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough I’ve carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me. Take a good look at me, God, my God, I want to look life in the eye, So no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face. I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms – I’m celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers.

I don’t know David’s full intent when writing this but I can see my life in it. I am ready to look life in the eye, to see God’s purpose for my coming days, to stop the people who speak negatively about me. I hear their words and they sting. Not so much that the words hurt but who they are being said to and what damage that is causing. I want to celebrate. I want to show people what happens when you put your full faith in God, how He rescues, how He saves.

But today, I simply join David in crying out “Long enough, Lord, long enough.”

Grace and peace.